07.22.09 FIRST PIC OF JACKIE EARLE HALEY AS FREDDY!
Incredible, isn’t it? He really has the silhouette down pat.
Backstory: Platinum Dunes, a company partially owned by Michael Bay that makes mediocre, unnecessary remakes of classic horror movies for easy money, is doing a remake of Nightmare on Elm Street. Jackie Earle Haley, who was an epic badass in Watchmen, is playing Freddy Krueger, which makes me feel ever so slightly bad about the fact that I’m definitely not going to see this ever.
[via MySpace]
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/ElvisHorse-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/02/Bourne-MattDamon-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/JayBaruchel-OutofLeague-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/WimpyKid-Ginger-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/JasonSomoa-Camels-150x150.jpg)
There are 20 comments about:
FIRST PIC OF JACKIE EARLE HALEY AS FREDDY!
where is his face? GIVE HIM BACK HIS FACE!!!
Partial Michael Bay loves “BOO!”
platinum dunes? sounds like bay was into sexy robots waaaayyy before transformers
i bet jackie earle haley wears no make-up for this role
He might as well be Jackie Earl Hindman in this picture.
nice durst there donk, you still got it!!
I would watch a three-way between Jackee Harvey, Steve Earle and Charles Haley before I would watch this movie.
High five!
1, 2, hey Michael Bay, screw you
3, 4, can’t remember how the rest of that song went
5, 6, Seriously, fuck this movie.
7, 8, I’d rather whack off.
Jackie Early Haley is only 5′5″. That means that if his Freddy Krueger was haunting your nightmares, you just have to palm his head and laugh as he swings his claws at you but can’t quite reach you. Now I know some of you are like “but Oski, Freddy can extend his arms,” but this is a grittier more realistic Freddy, so don’t expect that to happen.
“You’re going down, Burnhead.”
You don’t want to know what Bay’s Platinum Dudes remakes.
The Nightmare on Elm Street series is about a deranged psychopath who tortures and murders kids and teenagers while making crass jokes.
Filmdrunk is…
This Freddy Krueger has a Harley-Davidson. Does that turn you on? Harley-Davidson?
He’s short? Him and I have so much in common, as I also appeared as a kid toucher on TV. Screw you, channel 5 news!
It’s Rorschach!
Speaking of Watchmen, I watched it for the first time recently, and I have to say that Silk Spectre II is a woman of such easy virtue. I mean, she got her freak on at least 3 times in the film.
That is all
[Crappy's childhood scampers on hands and knees into a dank, dark corner of his memory. Bay approaches slowly, ominously]
Bay: Come now lad, just one more pump. Cough up another gem or I’ll have to punish you. Want another episode of bloody cum farts. Give old uncle Baybay an easy go of it and I’ll turn on the heat tonight. Promise. Or I’ll use the whole forearm again…
Crappy: Nooooo! OKOK! Buckaroo Bonzai!! Do you remember Buckaroooooo??!!
Bay: …yes…YES!!! Good lad. Your asshole will not forget it’s purpose tonight.
Crappy: …i’m…so…sorry…buckaroo…
Michael Bay has some wonderfully racist ideasfor recasting John BigBooty.
What does Robert Englund do for work now, huh Michael? WHAT DOES HE DO FOR WORK NOW!!!!!!!
I hope this sparks a revival of fedora caps and wide striped sweaters. That way my Uncle Paul will stop looking like a pervert and start looking like a hipster.
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.