You guys will never believe this, but Paramount is greenlighting a movie based on a Mattel toy! To be produced by the guy who directed Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise!
Max Steel revolves around a 19-year-old extreme sports junkie recruited by a secret agency after an accident infects his body with nanobots, making him superhuman.
OOO WHA-AA AA-AA! I smell franchise potential! Max Steel II: Double Pits to Chesty!
Although Mattel introduced the character in the U.S. in 1999 as an action figure, and soon after in an animated series that ran from 2000-2002, he’s proved more popular in Latin America, where Max Steel is the region’s No. 1 action figure. Mattel has continued to produce animated direct-to-DVD features for the region.
But Mattel wants to use movies as a way to relaunch the toy line in the U.S. and the rest of the world, [like Transformers]. Mattel was keen on pairing with [executive producer Joe Roth], considering the Max Steel character has similarities to the “XXX” franchise he launched while head of Revolution Studios. The Xander Cage character in the first film was an extreme sports athlete turned spy. [So, Mr. Roth, I can see by your resume that you have sh-tty movie experience. That's going to be invaluable in this position].
So basically, Max Steel is like the Mexican Triple X. Triple MexXx, say. Mira, I deed a backfleep on my lawnmower, ése! And now I gonna paint a virgen on the side with glitter. MEXXXTREEEME GLITTER! (*shotguns Jarritos, accordion music plays*)
In conclusion, f-ck yourself, Paramount.
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MAX Steel huh?
Are they going to have a bus?
No gusta.
More like Max Steal. Am I right, mexicans? Que?
Where’s Keyboard Gato when you need him?
Double pits to chesty is amateur hour stuff. Flying ass to mouth is the holy grail of Xtreme sports moves.
How about a movie with the XTREME HOT DOG EATING CHAMPION? You can call it, “Deep Throating Massive Wieners!”
(or does that sound gay?)
In Mexico, he’s “Max Steal”.
The only toy I want a movie about is a sex toy. And I want Megan Fox to star in that too.
Oh, wait. I mean right on nom.
I once got infected by accident with a bunch of little things but it didn’t make me superhuman. It just made it hurt when I peed.
This dude has some huevos if he thinks he can hang out behind the Home Depot looking for work once this movie comes out blowing his identity
In the XTREME eating world, they’ve already pulled a Reverse Flying Ass To Mouth pretty much everytime they compete.
Jesus Pauly, you guys are at it again.
*adjusts Mountain Dew drip*
Take it to the Max! Maxx Steel!
*passes out from adrenaline shock*
They should make a movie about an extreme chainsaw and call it Max Stihl.
Max’s brother Minimum Steel has a Napoleon complex compounded with inadequacy issues.
Max Steel? That’s the worst name i ever heard.
I want to shoot a documentary on my penchant for shoplifting feminine hygiene products and call it Maxi Steal.
Int. X-GAMES pre-party in Vegas
Villain: And you are….
Max Steel: Steel, Max Steel.
Villain: Would you like a drink Mr. Steel?
Max Steel (to casino waitress): Monster Energy Drink, Shaken and sprayed over everybody.
OMG, whatta clever pun! Shir Force! Get it? I might have to take a BREAK!
After going to the CoTW page I have personally had enough of the Max Spiel.
Max Steel is still a more normal sounding name than Vin Diesel.
Chino, stealing feminine hygiene products could last for 5-7 days. Be cAreful
What they don’t tell you about the incident in which he is infected by nanobots is that he was raped by a Roomba.
ESPN Reporter: Max, you’ve saved the world and won the most gold medals in X-Games history! What are your thoughts right now?
Max: Well first all I want to thank my sponsors, Monster Energy Drink, stuff is amazing (takes long swig). Boost Mobile “where you at” am I right? Umm, Hurley for the rad shirts, Vans, and PS3! Oh, can’t forget Glock for making the Max Steel signature gun, it’s great for stopping terrorist and my signature is laser engraved on each one (does devil horns gesture). WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Max Steel shakes his can of Monster Energy and sprays everybody around him.
They needed a mexican extreme sports junkie because in latin american, there is no OSHA.
Wax Steel is another name for jerking off.
Max Steel drives a McMaster-Carr.
I don’t always drink feces, but when I do, I prefer Joe Roth. Stay thirsty, my friends.
It’s probably just going to be 90 minutes of the lead sleeping with a hat tilted over his face. EXXXXXTREEEEME SIIIIIESTA!
yo dis shit is wack, my boy tucker MAX wuld pwn his ass. dat’s real xxxtreme u know wat im sayin
Mexicans into X-TREME sports? Lemme guess. They do a no hands double flip over the border, then land into a fry cook position at an Applebees’ in Southern Texas.