07.29.09 EVERYONE WISHES BETH COOPER WOULD DIE
So apparently, the marketing geniuses behind I Love You, Beth Cooper were trying to create some “viral buzz” for the movie’s release. So they did what any rational person would do: they paid the valedictorian of an L.A. high school $1,800 to recreate film’s titular moment in her valedictory speech.
“I cannot let this opportunity just pass by,” said 18-year-old Kenya Mejia. “I love you, Jake Minor!”
A few weeks before the June graduation season, an employee of the Intelligence Group asked members of a focus group to help find valedictorians. The company regularly polls thousands of teens to identify consumer trends. One panelist was a friend of Ms. Mejia and approached her with the company’s proposition: It would pay her $1,000 to $1,500 if she would mention the movie by name and say its trailer inspired her to make her own confession of love. Fox hired another firm to videotape the episode in a style that emulated a home movie.
“First they were just saying that I had to share a secret,” Ms. Mejia recalls. “But then the next day they said it had to be about my crush. I was like, ‘Oh that changes things a bit!’” She ran the plan past her boyfriend — not Jake Minor — who endorsed it. [WallStreetJournal]
Meanwhile, the movie bombed ($13.5 million on an $18 million budget) and the YouTube video has less views than Sexman talking about the dump he just took. And you can tell the same idiots behind the movie were behind the stunt. It wasn’t enough just to have her copy the confession, they actually made her say in the speech, “I recently saw the trailer for the movie I Love You, Beth Cooper, opening this weekend from Fox studios, starring Hayden Pan…” Not to mention they needed a focus group to find a valedictorian, and had to hire a team of professionals to shoot a video that looked unprofessional. But despite the failure, it was enlightening for everyone involved. Prior to this, the execs involved thought a valedictory speech was when Kevin Dillon walked up to the podium and shouted “Valedictory!”, Entourage-style. Marketing people f*cking love Entourage.
[props to Videogum for finding the video]
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There are 20 comments about:
EVERYONE WISHES BETH COOPER WOULD DIE
Fuck it. I’m becoming a studio executive. I have no pride, I have a serious need for money and my ideas, if at least not on par with what they come up with, can be combined with jive talking animals to broaden their reach.
I was approached by a studio exec who offered me $20 to suck his dick.
Well. Maybe it wasn’t a studio exec….
*Fox studio exec approaches podium*
And I . . . also have a confession . . .
I LOVE YOU, CRACK COCAINE!
The lowest ranked graduating member of the class was paid $100 to rush the podium and yell “Yo quiero Taco Bell!” into the mic before they could stop him.
So Jake Minor isn’t her boyfriend? $1,800 seems to steep to have a girl whore herself out like that?
In all fairness, this movie is pretty good. Pretty good at sucking! Wakka wakka wakka
So what? I screamed “ATTICA! ATTICA!” at my graduation for free.
I would have done the same thing she did had I not dropped out.
I’ll be here all night. Tip the waiters, folks.
I get a better thrill by giving my friend’s kid a dollar to yell out “Fuck you, dicknose!” to his Dad.
I’m glad I made you get that abortion Beth Cooper!
If Beth Cooper was knocked up and used hipster slang from 8 years ago this movie would have won a stripper an Oscar and made $200mil. Juno what I mean?
I’d rather fuck the corpse of D.B. Cooper than see this movie.
[Fox studio exec is sweating for a new film idea. Has green tea enema and shits into zip lock baggie which he then freezes. Looking at frozen shit he reads Kangaroo Jack 2 in tea leaves. Running out of office to tell president hits himself in the balls with doorknob.]
BALLS!
[Double fist tit punches Hayden]
You pissed on my iPod shuffle you stupid cunt!
So was The Intelligence Group named ironically or what?
I’m Gonna Stalk You and Make a Macarroni Portrait of You Using My Seed as Glue, Beth Cooper
This is so sexist! When I got payed to yell out “I love Minors” at graduation I got rushed by the police. Totally ruined the mood at the playpen too.
You be “graduate” at Hoki Wong Expless!
Ploudry sponsah “I Rove You Beff Coopah!”
Go fuck a goat, Beth Cooper!
I know I’m late and no one will read this but it had to be said. Thanks Internet!
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