07.19.09 COMMENTS OF THE WEEK: NO PRIZE EDITION

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/dalton-beats-up-cancer-has-a-cigarette&cp=1

I’m pretty sure this one is working off the strength of his Chong Li avatar, but Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ LOL’s me:

I put a cyberknife to the the cyberthroat of my cyberrape victims.

The Mighty Feklahr is going to start a new feature for COTW! It’s called “A Day Late and a Dollar Short” (or in this case 11 days late and a schoolyard handjob short):

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/best-2-second-performance-ever-gif?cp=2#comments

Fek’lhr says:

FIGHTS TWO DEMONS!

I gotta nominate a snippet of a post from Dismissive Wank of the Dead, because:

“The Skinny on Fatass”

is kinda brilliant.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/tyler-perry-presents-um-what&cp=1

Hans Gruber beats me to the joke I didn’t know I should have been thinking up:

“I Can Do Bad All By Myself” is what Michael Jackson told his mother when she said he should be nicer to his brothers in 1989.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/tyler-perry-presents-um-what?cp=2

Shop does creepy really well:

Shop 101 says:
I Can Do Bad All By Myself sounds like something I really don’t want to hear in the change room at Senior Swim.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/tyler-perry-presents-um-what#comments

I realize I haven’t been around much lately, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t cup Pauly’s nuts for putting the best western film of all time together with a tranny.

Listen, Mr. Kansas Straw Dog. Straw don’t go around here. Savvy?

You’ve never seen Wild Wild West, JHC?

Anyhoo … the guy in the main pic is wearing his homemade Tron outfit. To get the full effect, you need to see it under blacklight.

lovin the nerd, Did I Do That, on this one

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/sam-raimi-directing-world-of-warcraft&cp=1#comment-208524

I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six spells or only five?” Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a Level 70 Night Elf, the most powerful character in the game, and would blow your character of out the world, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, noob?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/bright-star-jane-campion-trailer&cp=1#comment-208591

Mark It Zero has me choking on my chicken with:

Honestly, if I gave a shit about writer’s lives, I probably would’ve learned to read. Yeah, that’s good. Type that for me Abu. No, not this you idiot, the first par-

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/magdalena-da-vinci-code-for-catholics&cp=1#comment-208626

Donkey Hodey says:

The lady d’offs Protestants too much, methinks.

*nods head in admiration. Scratches balls.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/trailer-for-burtons-alice-in-wonderland#comments

Donk -I couldn’t NOT nom this

I hope this movie ends with Alice in Chains.

What? I think “Down in a Hole” would be a fitting song.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/ryan-gosling-baby-sloth#comments

Burnsy says:
Hey girl, this sloth is one of the seven cuddly sins.

Second Burnsy.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/mike-fleiss-black-sabbath-movie#comments

Donkey Hodey says:
The not-yet-announced story of David Carradine’s death could be called “Slipknot”.

I third Burnsy and second Donk.

i gotta nominate this, crocodile tears had me giggling like an asian school girl whilst trying to keep my breakfast down

from http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/ryan-gosling-baby-sloth

he/she says:
Ryan Gosling’s favorite part of porno movies is the kiss after the blowjob, because “Hey girl I would never make you eat anything I wouldn’t eat myself.”

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/beware-the-birdpocalypse?cp=2

You gotta nom ornithological humor:

Donkey Hodey says:
*slides bandolier over shoulder, pulls back charging handle on M16, pumps round into chamber on shotgun one-handed*

It’s time. To. Kick. Some. Cloaca.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/hot-tub-time-machine-has-a-trailer&cp=1#comment-209065

Evil Genius Donk:

There’s no such thing as statutory rape as long as you’re doing it in the hot tub time machine.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker#comment-209147

Donkey Hodey

She also happens to be a former prostitute, who had wealthy pedophiles for clients.

Daddy Warbucks always had a thing for little orphan fanny.

Charlie Br0nze

So, you can just turn up at an orphanage, pick one of these midgets and drive away with it the same day? America truly is the land of opportunity.

SmokeEmIfYouGotEm

Her clients are called Little Johns.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker#more-16130

oh burnsy,

I would be so pissed if I found out my 6-year old was really an adult.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/secret-dwarf-hooker?cp=2#comments

Chino Moreno:

She’s not so much a whore as she is a whors d’oeuvres.

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/friday-free-for-all-the-smokin-2-yr-old

pauly keeps me on my toes with this little quip

I was wrapping my Muppet Babies belt around my arm and mainlining speedballs with a dirty needle by that age. Plus, that little fag doesn’t inhale.

according to the site’s timestamps, i nom’d paulys comment at the exact same time he wrote it…hot tub time machine?

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/07/friday-free-for-all-the-smokin-2-yr-old#comments

proving that donk likes them young;

Donkey Hodey says:
*Tries to pretend that the subject wasn’t a letdown after reading the title*

ninja-turtles
Donkey Hodey says:
They could save a ton of money on makeup if they just give 50 Cent a red mask and a pair of sais.

gosling and sloth
iwontrememberthis says:
Haha, I’ll miss you Scratches.

-AND-
Donkey Hodey says:
Hey girl, I’m kinda jealous of this sloth because he gets to spend his whole day hugging trees.

-AND-
JohnDenverisFullofShit says:
Can we get the unphotoshopped picture of AC with the sloth?? Just for like, reference.

virus zombie apocalypse
The Kurgan says:
Can you catch it by stealing gold from the dead?