07.19.09 COMMENTS OF THE WEEK: NO PRIZE EDITION

Sorry, folks, another week without a tangible prize.  But what can I do, NOT recognize your perverse and brilliant comments?  I think snot.  So this one’s for bragging rights.  See, mom?  And you said I’d never amount to anything.  Dumb bitch.

The way COMMENTS OF THE WEEK works is: at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section below.  I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

We begin in the thread about Max Steel, the proposed movie based on the extreme sports action figure:

Oski says:

INT. X-GAMES pre-party in Vegas

Villain: And you are….
Max Steel: Steel, Max Steel.
Villain: Would you like a drink Mr. Steel?
Max Steel (to casino waitress): Monster Energy Drink, Shaken and sprayed over everybody.

Next we move to the thread about THE FLOCK, the proposed movie about giant birds.

Charlie Br0nze says: One of the least convincing aphorisms of all time has to be “Never judge a book by its cover.” This has got “Big F*cking Turkey” written all over it.

And now to FORGOTTEN CLASSICS: THE DUKE.  If you remember, it was a little film with the tagline “Royalty has gone to the dogs.”

MaxwellDemon says: To reiterate, Oh man!  Oh dog!  [Ed Note: it was a callback]

Donkey Hodey says: He has a break with the Vatican when the Pup refuses him a divorce from his first bitch.  It’s ok, he was never really into Cat-holicism anyway.

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: Asians are gonna eat this sh*t up. [Get it?  It's funny because you're racist.]

Next, we go to the thread regarding Natalie Portman’s being cast in Thor.

ChinoMoreno says: Hillary’s nipples are just as hard, you just can’t see them because they are pointing at her comfortable shoes.

MaxwellDemon says: Valhalla, I am coming.

Token Black Guy says: “During our meeting on childhood literacy rates in America Natalie brought up two excellent points” Secretary Clinton said…

From the trailer for No Impact Man thread:

Crapbasket says: This guy it a total hypocrite. Douchebags are made of plastic.

From the Judd Apatow interviews Adam Sandler thread (in which I commented, “For youngish comedy writers, Adam Sandler is our OJ.”):

Burnsy says: I guess that makes Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia our Menendez Brothers.

From the Fight Club copycat kid bombs Starbuck’s (in which I wondered how the NY Times could publish the name and address of a 17-year-old):

Fek’lhr says:
HIS NAME WAS WITHHELD UNTIL THE PARENTS COULD BE NOTIFIED!
HIS NAME WAS WITHHELD UNTIL THE PARENTS COULD BE NOTIFIED!
HIS NAME WAS WITHHELD UNTIL THE PARENTS COULD BE NOTIFIED!

And for the winner, we go to the Power Kids muy Thai trailer…

Pauly Dangerously: “Muy Thai” sounds like how I had to explain to my Nana, in spanish, how David Carradine died.

What can I say, I’m a sucker for references to your Nana.  (*pours pizza sauce out on the ground*)  Anyway, thanks for playing, everyone, and I promise we will have actual prizes to give away soon.

[picture via latfh]