Morning, folks. Welcome to another exciting installment of Comments of the Week.

The way COMMENTS OF THE WEEK works is: at any time this week, when you read a comment you think worthy of recognition, YOU nominate it by copy and pasting it in the comments section below.  I pick the winner from among the nominees the following Sunday/Monday. (To help you find it more easily, the nomination thread is always linked in the ABOUT section).

We start in the SMURFS 3D thread.

Donkey Hodey says: Papa Smurf made Smurfette shave. Said he got tired of eating the Smurf n’ Turf

The rhyming pun says ‘wholesome’, while the oral sex reference says ‘I enjoy oral sex.’  Going for two in a row, here’s Donkey Hodey in the ROCK BAND FOR MOVIES thread:

Donkey Hodey says: So if it’s technically a game, that means there’s a way to fail the scene, right? I’m guessing there’s also varying levels of difficulty. Like in ‘easy mode’, you act alongside Keanu Reeves and in ‘hard mode’ you have to pretend that you can take Mark Wahlberg seriously.

How dare you, sir. Mark Wahlberg is a national treasure.  Or am I thinking of Nic Cage?  Moving on… To the the TJ HOOKER MOVIE thread…

Chino Moreno says: You know that slut, Denise Richards, is gonna swoop in and steal the part of Stacy Sheridan.

You had to be up on your tabloid stories to get that one.  Next up, the RYAN GOSLING IN A TUXEDO SHIRT thread, because Ryan Gosling threads are usually our best work.

Donkey Hodey says: Gosling. Ryan Gosling. I’ll have my shirley temple shaken, not stirred. Why don’t you let me hold your hand and take you to a nice restaurant, Moneypenny?

smileyniv says: Hey, girl, do you think this outfit’s too dressy? I’ve got a t-shirt with a picture of a t-shirt on it if it makes you uncomfortable.

Burnsy says: Hey, girl, I wear this t-shirt as an undershirt in case I pass a wedding and there’s no one to give away the bride.

chodin says: Hey, excuse me, do you think that it would be okay if you guys stopped texting once the lights dim and the motion picture starts? Huh? Okay, haha, never mind. Sorry for bothering you, bros.

From PAULA ABDUL SAT ON A MEXICAN:

Donkey Hodey says: She said she prefers to sit on La-Z-Boys, but they couldn’t find a Puerto Rican anywhere.

The Mighty Fek’lhr says: Paula Abdul keeps R Kelly at home for a bidet.

Chino Moreno: What you can’t see is that she’s using a Turk for an ottoman.

Here’s two that prove sometimes simplicity is best.  From the KATHERINE HEIGL ORGASM SCENE thread:

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says: She couldn’t act hot if I set her on fire.

And from the ASTEROIDS ARCADE GAME MOVIE:

snake_plissken says: I hope there’s a video game tie-in.

And next up our winner, who proves that when simplicity doesn’t work, go for long winded and absurd.

Påüłÿ Ðąηgęrσűşľγ says:

*we now bring you “When Pauly Met Sally” which is already in progess…*

[enter diner]

Sally Albright: Most women at one time or another have faked it.
Pauly: Well, aint no bitch has to fake it with your boy.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Pauly: Because I know, bitch.
Sally Albright: Oh. Right. That’s right. I forgot. You’re a man.
Pauly: What in the f-ck was that supposed to mean?
Sally Albright: Nothing. It’s just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or other have done it so you do the math.
Pauly: So you faked it with me, ho?
Sally Albright: Maybe….

[begins to moan, fakes orgasm]

Sally Albright: See….
Pauly: Oh yeah, bitch……[Pauly begins to grunt..] Oh f-ck YEAH! [Grunts get louder] OH SH-T! [Pauly squirts mayo all over Sally’s face] See, told ya.

Older Male Customer: [to waiter] I’ll have what that fat beaner is having.

Yeah.  I don’t know what it means either, but it made me laugh.