07.14.09 CHRISTIAN BALE IS HIGH ON CRACK STREET

Apples, coffee and meth: Best. Diet. Ever.

Crack Street is where Cocaine Lane and Baking Soda Drive intersect.

I wouldn’t set foot on Crack Street. I don’t want to break my mamma’s back.

I’m sure David O. Russell will have a fine time screaming at a method actor who’s in character as a violent drug user.

Toothless crack whore > FilmDrunnk commenter

Based on what he did to himself for The Machinist, this is not surprising.

No, no, no, no, no, Crappy. It’s:

Toothless crack whore ~C==8 Filmdrunk Commenter.

High on Crack Street is a damn sight better than sober at my place.

Now I know who those big Chocolate Shake Straws from Diners are for.

No Dicky Eickie jokes, come on…

It amazes me how drastically and quickly committed actors can alter their body shapes. I look the same now as i did twenty years ago. Granted, i’ve spent most of that time in a coma. Has that Guns N’ Roses album been released yet?

Al, I was just gonna mention that, but decided to fuck off instead. Speaking of fucking off;

When Jesus ascended to heaven would that be considered a Christian bail?

So Bale goes thin and balding to help give illusion to his role…are we to assume Val Kilmer is getting ready to play Pizza the Hutt?

Holy shit, long story short, my boss’ nephew is working here for a while. He’s from Jersey. His fiancee just had their child a few weeks ago and bought her in to show everyone.

BUT GAAAAAAAAWD! the fiancee is totally a Guido Beach chick! I have never seen a new mother with so much make-up hairspray, and nail polish in my life! I bet dollars to donuts there is a knife in the diaper bag. GUY’CHA!

I was once caught yanking the dog to the Sears catalogue bra section. I explained to my moms that I was preparing for a roll in a school play and that I was a method jacker.

Dor sho gha! First MMA Brent then Guido Beach Mama…if fucking Chuckles the Clown walks through that door next, He is OUTY!

When Billy Ocean drives up to Crack Street and says “Hey you, get into my car” somebody always does.

When Billy Squire walks down Crack Street he has no problem get stroked.

Is Bale gonna be in that Smurf movie? I’m gonna need to see that.

Walking on sunshine isn’t as fun as it looks.

“Rollin’ down Crack Street, smokin! cocaine. Sippin’ on penis juice”

Toothless Crack Whore went Down on Main Street.

Crack Street is home to many a plumber.

***sobs***

Crack Street is how you get to the dump.

I like that one song by Crackstreet called “I Like the Way You Jerk It”

(no diggety, no doubt)

High on Crack Street is better than being low on Whiskeyshitz Boulevard.

The freaky thing is Bale is dressed just like my old drug dealer. Louie, is that you?

The forks in the road of Crack Street are more like spoons.

The Crack Street in Chinatown is full of potwhores.

Crack Street’s back, ALRIGHT!

Crack Street is made up of rocks.

You really have to be careful. One minute you’re on Weed Road and the next thing you know, you’re on Crack Street!

Alright guys, enough with the crack jokes…this is actually from the set of the new Fire Marshall Bill Biopic, “LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHIN’ (and then smoke crack)”

The Momorial Day rock party on Crack Street is awesome.

They peeps on Crack Street were happy to finally get that speed bump.

Hmmm, it would seem I am in fine spelling form today. Dyslexics Untie!

The guy that lives in the middle of Crack Street is a real asshole.

You can get to Crack Street via the Hershey Highway.

Even on Crack Street the kids had to be home when the street lights came on. So the little urchins stole them shits and now party all night.

Between Snatch Ave and Crack Street is Taint Park. Nice place, but gets a little hairy after dark.

When you type “Crack Street” as the destination into your GPS navigation, an actual crackhead will jump in your car and tell you where to go.

All the crack houses on Crack Street recycle.

You don’t have to wait for Halloween to get candy on Crack Street.

Is that toothless crack whore Celine Dion?

The bakery on Crack Street was robbed, somebody pinched a loaf.

I knew a guy who lived on there. It was all he could afford after was dishonorably discharged from the Navy. Man, you wouldn’t think a guy who was a Rear Admiral would live on Crack Street.

My optometrist is on Crack street, Dr. Brown. That’s right, I go to the Brown eye doctor.

The community pool is over on Crack Street. Great place to drop off the kids.

The pizza guy always delivers extra sausage on Crack Street.