07.21.09 MICHAEL BAY’S BIGGEST FAN DRINKS GAS
The Shanghai Daily reports that an obsessed Transformers fan has been drinking gasoline in an effort to be more like his favorite robots.
The 14-year-old boy began to drink gasoline to become a “valiant fighter” like “Optimus Prime,” his father told the newspaper. “He began to drink gasoline five years ago, when we found he liked smelling lighter fuel,” he said.
The boy’s mother owned a grocery stall, selling small goods such as lighters. In 2004, she often found lighters missing two or three days after she’d bought them. She later found that her son had been stealing them.
The parents talked to their son and asked him not to do it again. “But afterwards we found our motorcycle’s gasoline was always disappearing, and one day when we found the boy had drunk a half bottle of gasoline stolen from the motorcycle, we were too shocked to say anything,” the father said.They locked the motorcycle away after that but the boy began to steal gasoline from neighbors and was drinking more and more – two or three bottles at a time. “Since my son started to drink gas, his IQ has dropped sharply and now he can’t figure out simple addition and subtraction,” the father said. “Before that, he was a very smart boy, and he could even repair the television. But now he does not know the answer of 7 plus 17.” [SD via /Film]
Reached for comment, Michael Bay said, “I’ve said all along that I don’t make movies for the critics, I make them for 14-year-old boys who’ve been drinking leaded gasoline and don’t understand math.”
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There are 22 comments about:
MICHAEL BAY’S BIGGEST FAN DRINKS GAS
Bay: 7 + 17 = C4
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“He can’t even count up to the octane number he’s drinking anymore!” cried the boy’s father.
I always feel like the Flash when i’m on meth.
Well, it’s either gas or Super Happy Fish Paste Go! Who am I to judge?
At least he wasn’t trying to be like Mudflaps and Skids. He’d be on grape drank and gov’ment cheese.
I’m not sure the mental retardation is a product of drinking gasoline as much as it’s a product of being the world’s biggest Michael Bay fan.
Quick show of hands, who wants to hold a lighter up to this kid’s pee stream?
It burns when I pee, I wonder if someone is spiking my drink
If he really wanted to be a transformer he should have poured it in his ass. C’mon kid, pay attention…oh right…you can’t any more.
TV repair. Failing at basic math. Throw in a pair of overalls and he can get a full ride to Alabama.
Now that kid has a serious problem.
/huffs jenkem, gets back to “Great American Novel”
See what our reliance on oil has done to this poor kid’s family? If only we had electric cars, he would have long since killed himself sucking on a light socket and his parents could have moved on.
He didn’t mean to drink so much, but an hour after drinking the gasoline, he was thirsty again.
Ached for comment, Metallica’s James Hetfield was quoted “GIVE ME FUEL, GIVE ME FIRE, GIVE ME THAT WHICH I DESI. . . Wait, he did what? The fuck is wrong with that kid?”
Gives new meaning to the term “passing gas.” Am I right, fellas? Right? Shit, I’m out of practice.
In Canada, we would call this kid First Nations
New up, and I think it’s for the boys.
His action star name: Chin Diesel.
What a dumbass. Everyone knows you’re supposed to sip, taste, spit then talk about how poor people are ruining this country just as much as the gays.
Captain Obvious says: “this kid is a motherfucking dumb piece of shit”
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