07.23.09 SCHWARZENEGGER GOVERNS COMMANDO STYLE
As a wise man named Tupac once said, “California knows how to party.” That’s why we keep electing actors to the highest state office! Heck, I stayed an extra year of college just so I could have Arnold Schwarzenegger’s signature on my diploma. Anyway, the governator recently took to Twitter to make a video. I don’t really know what the hell it’s about, but the best part is that it begins with him admiring an enormous knife. And the knife doesn’t have anything to do with the rest of the video, he just holds it up at the beginning as if to say, “Oh, we’re making a video now? My bad, I was just admiring my comically large knife. As I do.”
More than anything it reminds me of the intro to Commando (after the jump) where Arnold’s just hanging out in the forest, carrying entire trees on his shoulder. “Oh, I’m supposed to kill bad guys now? My bad, I was just feeding a baby deer with my daughter, Alyssa Milano.” What the hell kind of knife is that, anyway? No way it’s a Bowie or an Army knife, it’s bigger than my forearm. “Grrr, you can tell I’m qualified to govern because I carry a pocket knife as big as a broad sword!” I think George W. once pulled this same stunt with a foam cowboy hat.
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There are 24 comments about:
SCHWARZENEGGER GOVERNS COMMANDO STYLE
He uses that knife to skin the hides of baby elephants before dipping them in silver and positioning them strategically around his office. Fung shui.
Remember when I told you I’d veto your bill last?
I lied.
He’s a big believer in Rambo’s political philosophy: Speak softly and kill lots of gooks.
*puts a blanket and hat on California’s economy*
Don’t wake my friend. He’s dead tired.
He’s going to need a significantly bigger knife if he’s going to make a scratch in California’s budget deficit.
Rae Dawn Chong put a laptop on layaway so she can get on Twitter.
His chief of staff Mr. Bennett just walks around the office in an ill-fitting Brooks Brother’s suit covered in chain mail, giving everyone the crazy eye and muttering, “John, I’m not going to shoot you between the eyes. I’m going to shoot you between the balls.”
We only told Dubya it was a foam cowboy hat Vink. It was actually a dunce cap. Fitting, no?
That was confiscated from a Mexican.
That always ups the black market value.
There’s a second video that shows Arnold tickle fighting with Nancy Pelosi in a swimming pool.
Arnold never met a metaphor he couldn’t overdo.
Paul Hogan: And that’s why I voted for him.
“I was Patrick Swayze’s second choice”
Arnold is in favor or terminating everything. Everything except late term abortions.
GIT ON DE CAHPET!
Barney Frank released a similar video on PornTube only it wasn’t a knife he was fondling. . .
Ewwwww, anyone know how I can unthink something?
Google maps could read that watch from space!!
Oh hello, I was just looking through my wife’s things and found this. She said that her uncle Ed asked her to hold onto it for a time while he “sorted some things out”, whatever that means.
Engraved in handle:
Kill yourself
J. Cameron
This is the only suitable knife for carving your initials into a California redwood.
The knife came with the watch.
I’m governing my couch commando style right now.
he’s running california without any underpants?! madness!
VATCH OUT LIBERAL GIRLY MEN I’M GOING TO CUT TAXES AND YOUR THROATS.
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