07.06.09 WATCH THIS: 8 MINUTES OF THE HURT LOCKER

Boy, I really thought this movie was about the contents of William Hurt’s gym locker.

Goddamn is in the details. Remember the good old days when bomb disposal simply meant cutting the red wire… or was it the blue wire? No wait. The red. No, the blue! Fuck it cut ‘em all.

Pictured: The Mighty Feklahr lights a fart on burrito night!

If you gave Michael Bay a notebook while he was watching this movie, he’d draw robots with boobies who jizz hot lava. Ratner would try to eat the pencil, and McG would make paper airplanes and alternate between making whooshing and explosion noises with his mouth.

So nothing explodes in anyone’s face?! Thanks for the spoiler, Vince.

I call my wife’s pussy the Hurt Locker on accout of the vagina dentata.

HEY-O!

In Asia, the call a bomb blowing up in your face Bombkakke

I was in a fully-fleshed out scene once. Then my girlfriend made me turn off the camcorder. That bitch.

I it this weekend and was damn intense, there are some crazy combat sequences that don’t involve bombs including a wild sniper duel. Check out my review.
http://www.thislalife.com

I just went on thislalife dot com! Check out my review!

It sucked.

Why would I want to read YOUR review? I barely read Vance’s.

You think this is crazy?

The Burt Locker is filled with Skoal, Cialis and Sally Field’s dirty panties.

All bukkake movies should have Peter North in them. Anything less is amateur hour.

I’m making a movie about a racist pitcher who gets traded to Jew York.

It’s called The Hurt Rocker.

I would think Peter North bukkake would take the skin off a chick’s face. Bastard’s like a fucking shotgun.

Peter North’s film would be The Hurt Cocker

The experts over at imfdb would certainly approve of the detail regarding “finger firmly off trigger when pointing a gun without intending to fire”. They scoff at, mock and generally roll eyes at actors/extras in movies who do otherwise.

My ex-girlfriend broke my pinky when I tried to sneak it into her butt.

I will never use The Hurt Shocker again.

The Hurt Lacquer is the can of varnish that fell on my head last week.

8 Minutes of Hurt Locker is the name of my Mom’s Pregnancy Video.

In Soviet Russia, Locker Hurt You.

My first girlfriend wore a chastity belt called The Skirt Locker.

They don’t need their notebooks. They just need to pull out the notes they took when the movie was called Black Hawk Down.

There’s a documentary about Robert Davi at the RNC called The Hurt Pockmarker.

I saw this movie after having seen this post, and I have to agree. This movie is fuck awesome. Thanks for that, Vince.

Proof that women can direct more that rom-com’s and Twilight.
Finally!