Grease up your gearshift, sailor, because Zac Efron’s gonna be in another movie. But not just any movie. A sexy movie.
Zac Efron has signed to star in an untitled thriller for Mandate Pictures, which is being written by Leslie Dixon.
The plot is being kept under wraps but it is described as “a sexy thriller.” The deal continues the evolution of Efron from the teen heartthrob of the “High School Musical” franchise to a more mature leading man, and also sees him stepping into producing shoes.
The producer shoes are five sizes too big – he likes to make a mustache out of charcoal and then waddle around in them like Charlie Chaplin, it’s the cutest! Anyway, I’m not saying I’d rape Zac Efron in prison, but I’d sure as hell watch.
[via THR]
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Bah, if evolution is any indicator Zac Efron will transmorph into the lower half of that Daniel Craig ice cream bar.
Sexy Thriller? Hmm.
A Thin Line Between Gay and Straight
Zac Efron’s producing shoes have a 6-inch stiletto on them.
Dial ‘M’ For ‘Mudder’
Bassssic Insssssstinct?
Double Damendinme?
Sexy Thriller? Hmm.
Quantum of Soar Ass
This kid needs a flat-top and a broken nose, FAST. It may not be too late to save him! LET’S EMASCULATE THE GAY OUT OF THIS LITTLE FUCKER!
Sexy thriller? Dude would cry like Glenn Beck if he chipped a nail.
Single White She-Male
The Hand That Cradles the Rocks
That’s an awfully nervous-looking smile. I think he’s afraid of being eaten.
Strangers in a Train
You know what isn’t a sexy thrill? Having to help that fat chick zip up her dress. You better hope you’re not swallowed by the back-fat before you’re finished.
Jazz Hand That Rocks the Cradle
@Stinky–why do we both remember that movie?
He’s Just Not That Into Girls
Dicky, Christian, Barcelona
The Man Who Blew Too Much
wellDem: three words: Rebecca De Mornay.
Reacharound the World in 80 Days
Some Like it Hot Beef Injection
Shaving Ryan’s Privates
(stolen)
Me-Men-Too
Halloweenie
The Dong Riders
Look Who’s Sucking
Zack and Henry Make a Porno
ProstituteZac Nation
Younger Guns
Gloryhole Road
Humpire of the Son
Pole Smokey and the Bandit
Vinnie, where’d you get my prom photo?
Shaft
Three men and a bath house
*yells this out from the corner*
After this, Efron will star in BJ and the Beard.
Master and Cumhandler: The Far Side of da Earff
chodin: “But officer, if Zac Efron didn’t want me to fuck him, then he shouldn’t have dressed up like Princess Zelda.”
The Ding-A-Ling and I
Close Encounters of the Turd Kind
My House in Scrotumbria
Make fun of Zac all you want, but I’m happy for him to get a serious chance. I know how much he had his heart set on Grizzly Man.
Honestly, why wouldn’t an outfit named “Mandate Productions” be interested in this fruitcake?
I can guaran-fucking-tee you that this kid cums sprinkles.
Abonement
Scent of a Woman, Genitalia of a Young Boy
There are 114 erotic thrillers listed on IMDB and Cruising isn’t one of them.
Weekend in Bernie’s Ass
chod, did he leave you with a rainbow moustache?
Three Men and Another Man
American Gangbangster
Fuck no, kid left me with a broken heart…
8=D;(
Attack of the Killer Buttcherries
My Ass Hurts Locker
Want to know how Zac Efron does his hair?
Like a little bitch, that’s how!!??!! Say WHAT!?!? WHAT!!!!???!!? WHATCHU’ GOT!?!?
*throws arms up and punches grandmother in neck*
Rump Friction
Into The Brown
Akila and the DVDA
The Brown Mile
Midnight Meat Train
(Suing for the rights)
The Bourne Ultirapedhim.
(along the lines of Peet’s)
Reservoir Dongs
If that chick was literally a beard, she’d be Gandalf’s.
Spill Bill
The Cunt for Red Zachtober
BangCock Dangerous
Thanks smoke’em! lets see if we can get the whole tarentino filmography up here.
Up…Your Ass
Zac Efron thinks it would have been a thrill to be have been managed by Lou Pearlman.
InGloryhole Basterds
In Gloury-holes Basterds
Shit, SmokeEm i should have updated, didn’t see your’s yet.
Training Gay
PS i can’t think of anything for jack brown other that Jack’s Brown Dick. And i’m sure there is something better.
Das Butt
Schindler’s Fist
Goolander.
Watch…Men
Ong Cock 2
Body of Guys
Androgynous Liaisons
Schindler’s Bitch
Bad Boys 3
Ass-ault on Preteens 13
Along the River Queah’
Smokin’ Asses
Around the World in 80 Gays.
Daddy Gay Care
Juwanna Mann in your ass?
State of Ass-Play
The Taking of William 1 2 3
Jizzastic Park
20,000 Dudes Under Each Other
Angel and Semen
To Zach Effron, Thanks For Everything, Jewey Goobar
Thank You For Smoking…Pole
ArmaGaydon.
The DaVinci Chode
I hate each and every one of you people. Especially you… yeah, you, the fat one. I hate you the most.
The Wizard of Jizz
Lord of the Button Flies
Guess Who’s Cumming on Dinner
The Spy that Came and Gave Me a Cold
Butt Pirates of Sierra Madre
My idea of a “sexy thriller” has always been rolling up a soft cover Nancy Drew and fucking that shit like a Hot Pocket.
Cumdog Millionhairs
Zac Efron gets double fisted by 5 guys
…wait I messed that up didn’t, I?
I’m Zach Efron, and I Love Balls on My Chin
True story: I once smoked pot with Zac Efron*
*smoked crack while masturbating to ‘Hairspray’.
The O Ring
So for someone who beats off to regular thrillers, a sexy thriller kinda’ cancels itself out, right?
How to Blow a Guy in 10 Ways
In the Valley of Efron
Laying Into Lambs
Dr. Suess’s How the Grinch Sodomized Christian
<The Jizz Slinger
Any Given Cumday
Indiana Jones: The Last Cumstain
You’ve Got Male
He’s Just Not That Into You, Yet
Bareback to the Future
Little Miss Poleshine
Bobbie and Clyde
Throw Smegma from the Train
Trading Faces
Glad-he-ate-him.
Bringing Up Baby Batter
GayRunner
Star Trek II: the rape of Khan
Field of Creams
Step Up to the Skeet
Meet Me in Louis
One of the Wayans Presents: White Dicks
The Fist and The Furious
The Fist and The Furious: Tokyo Tentacle Rape
I Plowed 12 Monkeys
Cape Queer
The Spooze Brothers
O’ Brother, Where Art Thou Plowing Zac Efron?
The Spy Who Logged Me
Efron Cowgirls Get the Blue Balls
The Greatest Show of Girth
Into the Jew
Fabulous Metal Jacket
Pink Sleaving Las Vegas
Goo Hand Luke
Tight Club
Forbidden Man-meat
BAWS
A Cockwork Orange
Judge Headd
Ass Wide Shut.
28 Gays Later
Prince Asspian
GLAAD Boys
Whoa, I step away for ten minutes… is anyone else thinking of the coke dealers?
A Good Queer
The Pursuit of Rapeyness
Fecally Blonde
Indeepanddance Gay
Sliding Backdoors
The Circle Jerk
‘Baiting to Exhale
Stop! Or my Load Will Shoot!
Children and Men
New Zach Splitty
First Time Blood
9 ½ Twinks
A Few Good Mengina
A Swish Called Efronda
Dances with Poofs
GrindKlaus
Total Rectal
Boyz On The Wood
I need to knock this shit off, go get lunch and maybe do some work
Disney’s The Little MerGay
In His Majesty’s Secret Orifice
The Neverending Glory
Lick-Ass(Coming out later this year)
By the way, you’re welcome Vince…I believe I started this.
White Dicks
Tha fock did Oi miss round eeah?
fockin’ oiPhone
Top Buns
Man-Love La Mancha
Stath will kill me for this one: Crank Job 2
@Crapbasket “Fecally Blonde”, just spit my coffee out.
Blow.
Get Hard: The Legend of Gooey Cocks
Cum in 60 seconds.
Dr. Strangecock, OR: How I learned to stop thrusting and pitch like a pro.
The Chronicles of His-Dick
Ass-cock-alypse Now
Proposition 8 From Outer Space
Battle-shlong Ga-lactate
We all just earned the equivalent of 5 years experience in porn writing.
PISS: I Love You
Fun With Dick and Pain
Felching Nemo
Do the Right Guy
It a tick. Is Baiting to Exhale too erudite to be a David Carradine reference?
Also Miles, Ass-cock-prolapse Now would’ve been better.
North by PorkFest
wait a tick even.
Fockin’ oiPhone.
Big Trouble in Little Chinese
Mr. & Mr. Smith
erswi gets me… [swoon]
Black Pain
One Fine Gay
You little ass sniffers have been busy. I’ll be fucked if I’m going to read 9 pages.
One Blew Onto the Froo Froo’s Chest
Lay Anything
American Blistery Sex
Better Off In Ted
Deep Blew C-hole
wet hot American Cummer
Bridget Jones’ Diarrhea
The Great Train Rapery.
The Gloryholocaust
/miniseries
My Fair Ladyboy
Varsity Blue Balls
Last Queer in Marienbad
The Androgyny Strain
The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill and Came All Over Another Guy’s Face
Mary Popitins
Breakfast at Titfannies
Brokeback Mountaint
/gayer
XXX-MEN
Speed Raper
The Object of my Gay-ffection
The Pianis
Manmeat the Parents
How to loose a guy in 10 days.
too gay?
Full Metal Jackin’it
20~~C==B01: A Space Odessy
Mancock
Nuts
/Not gay enough? Streisand was in it.
Al’s Armada Presents: Toy Story 3
Ruthless Peehole
Blew Shield
Hairy Pooter and the Sorcerers Bone
That one’s in production as we speak, Crappy.
The Longest Yard’o'Beef
Mantrix: Revulsions
Forrest Pump
Seven Pounds of Cock
Zac and Meat
[one eye rolls back into head, blood issues from one ear]
Tranny-formers: Revenge of the well-hung.
Cummando
Lock, Cock and Two Flaming Homos
The Whole 9 Inches
Anal-fisting Intelligence.
The Gay Santini
Transgenders: More than meats the brown-eye
License To Drive…My Dick In Another Man
Holy shit, I actually work for a few hours and miss all the fun
Thrill Bill
Queer One
The Fruit That Shaved Pittsburgh
Rambone
Guy Hard
40 gays and 40 guys
Guy Hard II: cocked and loaded.
Being in John Malkovich
Driving Mr. Daisy
Eight Men In
@Charlotte Better Title
40 Days In 40 Guys
School of Cock
A Hard Gay’s Night
@SmokeEm
good one!
Beer for my Horse-Man
Training Dave
Kobe Doin’ Kirk
17 inches long again
Things To Do In Denny When You’re Fred.
How Steven got his Groove Back
Its A GLAAD GLAAD GLAAD GLAAD World
Top Gun
The Hand Job
Drilling Dillbrit Taylor
damn it!
**Drilling Drillbit Taylor**
The BudSucker Proxy
A Beautiful Behind
Willy Wanker and Charlies Chocolate Factory
The Great Masturbaters
Gods and Genitals
Sexy thriller, hey?
Someone To Splotch Over Me
Fecal Attraction
My Big Fat Greek Manslave
The Bi-Curious Case of Benjamin’s Butthole
Iron-Men
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Italian Rimjob
The Great Gaysby
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Malt-Tease Falcon
(*RIP, Diceman*)
Free Willy…Don’t mind if I do!
Under Steve
Sexy thriller, hey?
Sementoe
(apologies to Stinky Peet on page 1)
Under Steve 2: Dark Territory
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Grudgefuck
(been done already, no doubt)
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Third Man
co-starring Orson Swelles
Sexy thriller, hey?
Double-End Into-Me
(apologies to Crapbasket, page 1)
Spooge ‘Em Up.
Sexy thriller, hey?
Shaft
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Dixth Sense
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Boner Collector
….aaaaaaaaand… I’m done.
Beetlejizz.
Sexy thriller, hey?
Homo Alone
(I lied)
THE FIRST RULE OF GLEE CLUB IS YOU DON’T TALK ABOUT GLEE CLUB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Scrotum of Solace
The Incredible Mr. Limpdick
Congrats Vince, this post has gotten more traffic than Jenna Haze’s va jay jay
Big…..dicks
T.W.A.T.
Raising Aaron’s-Bona’
White Men Can Hump.
S.Q.U.A.T.
Superfag
Peen-me Todd
The 3-way Amigos
E.T. Extra Testicular
Y Tu Papa, Tambiem
Y Tu Papa, Tambien
The Elephant-Dick Man
Men In Back
The Bendover
Goofellas
Spied-A-Man
Honey, I’ll Swallow Your Kids
A Night In Perez Hilton
Don’t Tell Mom I Gave The Babysitter Head
Assuckinlips Now
The Jerk…off
Lost in Transexuals
Kindergarten Fop
City Dickers 2: The Legend of Curly’s Bone
DeliverVince
The Dick Night
FaceBalls
How to Bruise Men and Alienrape People
Pretty In Twink
Fruity and the Beast
Bill and Ted’s Exxxcellent Assventure
Allmencumin Me
Carlito’s Gay
My Giant Asshole
Mr. Smith Cums In Washington
Same-Sex Wedding Crashers
PoundHog Gay
Boys On My Side
Cheeks and Shlong: Up and Down in Smoke
Cummo
Jailhouse Cock
The Golden Shower Child
Malcum XXX
Pearl Necklace Harbor
The Last King of Cockland.
Mouth Party 1-4
SinSATIONAL City
Of Mice and Men: The Richard Gere Story
Milk’d
No Country for Tight Men
Cannonball Cum
KnowPole’nHim’s Dynamite
Meat
Ferris Bueller’s Jack Off
Nutbusters
ANALyze THISTH!
Meat the Fockers
Taken…It In The Ass
Ass Ventura: Prick Detector
Who’s Meating Gilbert’s Gape?
South Park’s Dick: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
The Good Spermin
Super Size In Me
Bulletproof Spunk
Jizz Jizz Bang Bang
Mighty Mounted Power Bottoms
or, conversely:
Mighty Mountin’ Power Rapers
What About Bobbing?
Pee Pee’s Big Adventure
The Brotherhood of The Traveling Pansies
Porky’s Too: The Next Gay
Chino, don’t forget Big Cock Pee Wee
Gay Night
Good Fuck
Butt Pirates of the Caribbean
The Dick and the Head
Brokeback Mounting
The 3 Spooges
High Taints Drifter
Romancing the Bone
Any Which Way Butt Loose
Blew-571
The Longest Gay
The Queer and The Gay
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skullfuckers
BALL-E
Bi-light (in the loafers)
Who’s eating Gilbert’s Grapes
Win A Rape From Tad Hamilton
Grinding Nemo
Taint Your Wagon
The Baterix
Barton Twink
SnatchThe Loose Boys
Go Down In 60 Seconds
Seriously… I hate you guys. And I’m not reading the 200 posts since I left work, I’ll assume they’re all brilliant.
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Man Who Blew Too Much
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Ladyboy Vanishes
Sexy thriller, hey?
Rear And Pleasant Danger
Anus & Andy
Orifice and a Genitalman
Mac in Me
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Shining (of men’s knobs)
And I meant
Snatchwitg a strikethroughSexy thriller, hey?
The Manchewmeout Candyass
Sexy thriller, hey?
Red Brown Eye
Paul Shart: All Cock
Sexy thriller, hey?
Assault On Pre-Op 13
Sexy thriller, hey? How about a Korean remake?
Youngboy
Cream on Me
Old Stool
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Buttermy Erect
The Wet-Dream Catcher
Romeo and Julian
The Great Assrape
Sexy thriller, hey?
Brown Eyes Wide Open
The Blewmen Show
Apollo’s 13″
Sexy thriller, hey?
Kiss The
GirlsBoysRock-Cock and Two Smokin’ Daryls
Sexy thriller, hey?
Face/On (men’s knobs)
Sexy thriller, hey?
Primal Rear
The Gayviator
Sexy thriller, hey?
Se7enteen Again
The Bukkake Kid
The GLAADiator
Sexy thriller, hey?
True Bromance
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Spoogitive
Blood Hymen
Sexy thriller, hey?
Blew Velvet
Sexy thriller, hey?
The Boys With Brazilians
Sexy thriller, hey?
Day of the Jackoff
Sexy thriller, hey?
Play Wristy For Me
He’s Just Not That Into You or: What’s Your Brother Doing this Weekend?
High School Musical.
Rufies Choice
Do My White Thing
Miracle of Gay Anal
The Manchewin Candidate
Gangbangs of New York
Twelfth Mike
A Knights Tail
Romancing The Bone
Home, to Bone.
Back to the Felching
40 cocks in 40 holes
6 dicks, 7 nights.
12 angry men with wood.
How Sammy got his cum back.
Bill and Ted’s SEX-ellent Adventure