YOU ARE SPECIAL! EVERYONE LOVES YOU!
06.06.09You know how every once in a while you see something and you think that if it was made up, it wouldn’t even be funny because it wouldn’t be believable? This is kind of like that. It’s called ‘Cheers to You.’ It’s a DVD of applause and encouraging phrases, so that after you get laid off and turn to booze and can’t get it up and your stupid kids stop respecting you, you can plug it in and pretend you’re some kind of movie star. Business card guy listens to this 10 times a day. True story.
[Thanks to Dan for the tip]
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Two Saturday posts can mean only one thing. Lince The Wonder Blogger is typing in his sleep again. Don’t try to wake him up. Let him get it out of his system. Sssshh!
*subliminal whispers*
cheers to you would make a great cotw prize.
cheers to you would make a great cotw prize.
This won’t make my Dad love me any more.
For seven additional payments of $99.95 they’ll send people with cameras over to your house to harass you and try to get upskirt shots of your wife’s hoo-hoo.
Stuart Smalley masturbates to this soundtrack.
I need this shit for the times I comment and no one noms it.
It’s cause no one “gets” the genius that is Pauly Dangerously.
It comes with a money back gaurantee and a .357 with 1 bullet if it doesn’t work.
For only one payment of $99.95 you can stick your entire head up my wife’s skirt. If you can find her that is. Bitch left me 10 years ago.
*runs to the bathroom, locks door, and sobs uncontrolably*
Paul I think lately people haven’t been nominating you because they have been jealous of all the umlauts and shit you’ve been able to add to your screen name. (I know that’s the case with me at least)
You’re right, antcow.
It *is* pretty boss.
But behind all the umlauts and shit, I’m just a Bean behind a computer screen. An alocoholic weed smoking Mexican that’s too lazy to be a laborer, so I push papers between weekly black-outs and hangovers. A simple man, really. Nothing too complicated about me. Also, I bang your Moms.
Chodin doesn’t need these tapes at all. His uncle touches him to let him know he loves him all the time.
“…Mexican that’s too lazy to be a laborer, so I push papers”
Say there Pauly Umlauts, about these “papers” you push. What would, say oh maybe an ounce, of these “papers” go for currently?
For you my man…..50 bucks.
It comes with a puzzle shaped affirmitive token that says “You should blow me.”
Just a second,
*presses button on FD Encyption device purchased from Chodin*
It’s a bargain even without the token. Just between you and me, send it to Lince and I’ll send him 60 to award me with the CoTW. He keeps 10 then sends you the 50 and me the “papers” for the prize.
gracias hombre.
*releases button*
I don’t know, TD. I still haven’t seen the last CoTW prize Vincent was supposed to send me.
I wouldn’t trust him as far as I can throw him, but I do come from a long, long line of wop tossers.
At least you got something, Pauly. False hope is a prize in itself.
I know a certain hockey team that’s going to be watching this on a continuous loop til Monday.
Pauly, you’re just jealous because I have a pinche Danny Trejo shirt. And because I’m such a good dentist that I pulled out my own tooth with pliers.
Looks like Vinnie is still partying at the Pink Pony.
Actually it was the Clermont because my friends are jerks. And I didn’t start late, Comments of the week just takes forever. It’s up, by the way. *whispers* And so am I.