Opening this weekend:
After Last Season
This is either a prank or the future cult-hit of the decade. If you want to see it, all you have to do is make your way to Austin, Rochester, Lancaster, or North Aurora. First 10,000 guest receive a complimentary cardboard MRI machine. “They’ve got, uh, printers in the basement you can use.”
The Hangover
The triumphant return of Todd Philips. Most people are saying it’s pretty damn funny. It’s got Zach Galifianakis, Mike Tyson, a tiger, and a baby in sunglasses. Pretty much everything you could ask for.
Land of the Lost
Man is this thing getting some terrible reviews. But Ebert liked it. Movieline calls it “a pretty good stoner comedy being mismarketed as a kids’ movie.” Isn’t that exactly what the original show was? Anyway, your results may vary. In related news I think a good poster would just be Will Ferrell running from a dinosaur with “LOL!” written on it.
My Life in Ruins
Nia Vardalos’ follow-up to My Big Fat Greek Wedding is the only film getting worse reviews than LOL. Hey, have I mentioned Nia Vardalos is Greek? Because she is! I think that’s why she’s so zany! Hey, Nia, ethnicities are like assholes. That’s probably why ethnic types are smelly.
Away We Go (limited release)
Sam Mendes (American Beauty) directs a script by Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida, a coming-of-age/non-traditional rom-dramedy. College boner! It’s just so hard to decide between this and grad school.
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I think Billy Mays is funnier than Will Ferrell.
My Life in Ruins who wants to see a Zahi Hawass biopic?
Who has a hangover right now? ME!
Who will be seeing The Hangover tonight? ME!
Ya, ya, I went all History Channel and shit!
The triumphant return of Wilson Philips. Most people are saying it’s pretty damn retarded. It’s got Zach Morris, Mike Tyson, a liger, and a baby on a treadmill. Pretty much everything you could kill for.
FEKSED!
Påłÿü, Püłÿå, åüłPÿ, if you never sober up, you dont have to deal with hangovers. Durrr.
Hey – is “operation aborted” for anyone else trying to look over there?
Either it’s a site problem or my IT nazis, and I need to know which.
God, you come back from a two hour lunch of 3 litres of wine and everything goes to hell.
Greeks have to let you know they’re Greek at every chance they get because there’s nothing worse than being mistaken for an Italian, Except maybe a Turk.
**glares at Donk**
Good game last night, eh?
You threw a dog right through the screen on that fourth goal, didn’t you…
I didn’t play last night.
So I guess me and Pavel Datsyuk have something in common.
Two things kept me from it, Al.
1. I love my television.
2. I love my dogs.
Yes, that is the correct order.
HEY! Save the Hockey talk for your conjugal visits at the Turkish prison.
Crap, that’s why I’m shooting up some vodka as we speak.
If you abbreviate it LOTL instead of LOL, asian people get confused and think there’s another new Tolkien movie coming out.
I let the guy from Double Dragon choke me while I jerk off. I call it Abobo-erotic asphyxiation.
It’s just so hard to decide between this and grad school.
There’s always barber college
PAULY! Fuck you for making a Road House reference.
And fuck me for getting it.
*Tries to think if the Total Recall remake thread was before the David Carradine news broke*
Who wants to get choked by a baby growing out of a man’s stomach while staring at a three-boobed hooker? I call it Quato-erotic asphyxiation.
*squirts lube on tumbleweed, starts humping*
The Swi graces us with his presence!
Zach Galifianakis > Andy Malinarkis…Molinakiasis?..Marlinakus?…you know, that retarded guy that thinks he’s funny.
(no not me, that other guy)
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2009/06/komments-of-week.html
(work safe)
I don’t know why it makes so much sense that some fucker in Ontario has a Klingon license plate, but it does.
(Rock Strongo, I’m looking at you…)
Oh, and congrats Chino. What’s her prize, Fek?
Don’t you mean *HAD* a Klingon license plate? *snickers, hides screwdriver*
It’s funny you bring up Total Recall, Donk. I was just thinking about that and when I think of Total Recall, I think of, you guessed it, those three tits. “Tres Leches” I like to call them. Now, you may think I’m thinking about sucking and fucking them, but no you loser, you’re wrong. I’m not.
Actually, I’m taking a scientifical approach to this, you see. Newton’s 3rd law of motion comes to my mind. What I’m getting at is if I were to give the right titty a good slapping, would the force I exerted to the right titty be transfered to the center titty, thus jiggling the left titty?
Me thinks yes.
Same one you are getting (read fine print).
So, if what you’re saying about Newtonian physics is true, Pauly, then while you motorboat between center and righty, I could slap lefty and essentially, through the transferrence of that force, would be slapping you?
*notices gravy stain on labcoat, tries to lick it off*
**wonders if these guys’ wives EVER have sex with them**
I like sex too much to get married.
I have sex with my wife often enough, thank you.
sometimes she even has sex back.
Is “sex back’ that nut/lube/fecal skunk stripe like I get afterwards? Normally I just call it “icky.”
Fat chicks always fuck back.
Trust the shit outta me.
How does it get on your back, Crappy?
I play a pony before she cleans up.
Zack should interview David Carradine.
“Between two urns”
cause he’s dead….get it
Al, congrats for what??
Chino, I think you won comment of the
weekmonthweekparsec over on Fek’s blog.*waits for Fek to go on a Krazy Klingon Kill Spree for using “parsec” to denote time instead of distance*