06.22.09 OBESE GAYS MAKE VICTORIA JACKSON CRY
Hey, remember back the late 80s when Victoria Jackson was on SNL, and people were like, “Aw, she’s a kooky, child-like blonde, that’s kind of a fun shtick.” Fast forward twenty years, and now she’s a 50-year-old woman who wears a pink bow in her hair, and ultra right-wing whack jobs like to poke her with sticks and tell her, “Okay, Victoria, now say Obama is a communist, and try to sound like a drugged-up 7-year-old, people love that.” Point being, she writes a column for Breitbart.com (presumably translated from crayon), and in it, she recently described walking out of Year One in tears.
It was the scene where the obese homosexual is fortune-telling by looking at the bowels of a sheep that has been sodomized by a person. I told myself this was a PG-13 movie and the writers were “lost” so they didn’t know how vulgar they were being. I asked myself, “Vicki, is this movie making you feel good?” Myself replied, “This movie is making me angry, very sad, hopeless, and dirty-feeling.” As the onscreen obese gay man poked at the bloody intestines and told the fifth anal sex joke, I looked at my daughter, and we got up and walked out. I started crying in the parking lot as we walked to our car.
I had almost the same reaction Anal Sex Nurses 23. I asked myself, “Vince, is this movie making you feel good?” And myself replied, “This movie is making me feel good, but also confused, angry, and dirty feeling. I’m about to come but I can’t stop crying. I worry the two might be related. What’s wrong with me?” To which I replied, “You know what’d make you feel better? A cigarette and some ice cream.” And myself said, “Aw, thanks Vince, this is the best birthday ever.”
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There are 14 comments about:
OBESE GAYS MAKE VICTORIA JACKSON CRY
Its strange that she’d have a problem with an obese gay man seeing as though she looks exactly like one.
“It was the scene where the obese homosexual is fortune-telling by looking at the bowels of a sheep that has been sodomized by a person.”
I hadn’t planned on seeing this. Now I kinda want to.
i believe it was when she was dating weird al yankovic that he came up with the lyrics to the song “Fat”
Posters should know that the Banner Pic isn’t blurry. THAT is actually what Victoria Jackson looks like now.
Says the woman who starred in a sketch about a pregnant woman sticking her stomach in a microwave.
(Also starring? That’s right, Nic Cage.)
The real reason she felt so angry and sad was that the sheep was getting all the action while there was a perfectly good pig on set. With a pink bow in it’s hair, even.
Wait, so now I can make people laugh AND cry at bloody, anal sex gay jokes? This must be how the first person to ever test ultrasoft two-ply toilet paper felt.
Victoria has matured over the years. Though, she still has that “I made poopie” flow chart in her bathroom so she knows if she has to go and when she is hungry she still sticks out her bottom lip and says “Tummy Wummy”.
In her household, “The Jackson Five” refers to Cherry Garcia, Chunky Munky, Phish Food, Brownie Batter, and Butter Pecan all mixed together into one bowl.
obese gays… should we call them obays or geese?
I’m looking forward to the day you get to use the “Hoo boy thats obese gay” tag again.
It took me like two minutes to realize that was a picture of Victoria Jackson, and not a screencap of the scene in question.
New up, less gay.
I heard Victoria Jackson is playing Weird Al’s wife in the new UHF sequel called “You Ate Jeff.”
…Because she’s fat, like she ate a guy.
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