06.15.09 TRANSFORMERS HAS ACTUAL ROBOT TESTICLES
(This is what Transformers whack off to)
As you can tell by Megan Fox’s nipples, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen premiered in the UK, and the first reviews are beginning to hit the web. I point this out not because giant robots punching each other needs the critical eye, but because apparently the movie features actual robo-testicles.
A notable moment occurs during the dementedly frenetic final act of Transformers 2. A robot-on-robot fracas is unfolding around Egypt’s Giza Necropolis, with Devastator, an especially massive mechanoid comprised of several construction vehicles, set on clawing its way to the peak of a pyramid. As it lumbers up the dusty colossus, a shot tilts up to its mid-section, revealing two wrecking balls dangling down. Yes, Michael Bay, the man who brought us cyber-micturition [that means pissing -Ed.] in this movie’s predecessor, has one-upped himself: Decepticon testicles. [...]
Dogs hump each other, robots hump human legs and the camera spends so much time ogling Megan Fox’s torso you start to wonder if it’s being operated by a 13 year-old boy. There are now 42 robots, including one that looks like a jaguar, one that can turn into ball bearings to access high-security areas and one in the form of a Dyson vacuum cleaner. [Empire Online]
When Michael Bay told execs he wanted the sequel to be like the first, “but with bigger balls!”, they thought he was being metaphorical. But Michael Bay doesn’t use metaphors, he uses C4. “C4 is the bomb,” said Bay.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/Transformers-BoomMicgun-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/01/transformers-2BayFox-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/VictoriaSecret0MichaelBay-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/meganfox-nytimespanties-150x150.jpg)
There are 20 comments about:
TRANSFORMERS HAS ACTUAL ROBOT TESTICLES
That Dyson vacuum robot has me leery of using the bristly attachment as a masturbation device from now on.
Don’t worry about it Kurgan. That european homo vacuum is totally into it. That’s why they never lose suction.
Does this mean all those years in the Saturday morning cartoon that Devastator was “tucking”???
I hope this doesn’t up the sales of Truck Balls.
Some balls are made for charity and some for fancy dress. But when they’re made for evil, they’re the balls that Bay likes best.
Shia felt a strange comfort seeing a giant monster with hidden balls dangling above him.
No matter how big Bay made them robot nads, Shia would only give them a 9 out of 10.
I C2 bombs.
I like to imagine* that Transformers jizz ropes of hydraulic fluid.
*while I masturbate
Michael Bay doesn’t use metaphors, he uses C4
MetaC4s?
Devastator used to get picked on. The other robots called him an Undescendicon.
We can build animatronic balls now? Holy crap someone steal David Carradine’s body from the cemetery.
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology
Devastator wouldn’t be so mad if he could release his frustations* all over Arizona.
*Robot Jizz
At least when Optimus Prime says “Let’s go bust some nuts” nobody thinks anything weird about him.
As if the Devastator toy needed another choking hazard.
Fistful, I’m from AZ and I wouldn’t mind at all….
You know who else is from Arizona?
John fucking Rambo
Man, what I would give if my cum-shots could total out a Ford Taurus…
*flexes kegel muscles*
Poor Unicron.
You know what else is in Arizona? The Grand Canyon (Earth’s transforming Vagina. She’s already wet).
I won’t pay to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, but I would pay to see Devastator splooge 55 gallons of 10-W30 all over Megan Fox’s rack. Maybe Michael Bay has a future in CGI hentai…
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