06.25.09 MICHAEL BAY CAN AFFORD TASTE: UPDATE

Revenge of the Fallen is what we called my Grandma’s lawsuit against LifeCall.

The Mighty Feklahr understands Uwe Boll will be heading up a multi-dollar mega-hit based on Go Bots! What could go wrong?

I know idiots who said this movie sucked. That’s all I needed.

Will this “taste” have an explosion of flavor?

Maybe they can finally afford to get John Tarturo that racial reassignment surgery he needs so badly, nobody knows how to discriminate him as is.

WTF, is everyone on a roller coaster right now?

yes.

Transformers: Rape of the Film

Transformers: Rapid, obscure, trembly framework.

“…earned $55 million in a single day.”

Explosions can’t do that. There must be tits involved.

Every day, at around 12 P.M. when Hollywood Executives are talking pitches for movies, Michael Bay sends Devastator to their various offices. During these trips, Devastator stands outside the windows of the Executives while a young upstart is trying to sell a screenplay he has been working on for years. It is during this time that Bay instructs Devastator to perform a teabagging motion, his balls swinging to and fro, right in the Executives field of vision.

As the Executives clap their hands and laugh like Hyena’s, they forget anything about the brilliant films that were pitched to them, only remembering the “funny robot” that Bay showed them.

And thus, “Transformers 3: Loose and Free” is the first film in history to be funded by every movie studio in Hollywood*. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!

*Only research done is that Banner Pic of Megan Fox.

It wasn’t horrible.

Tragedy strikes across the nation as a terrorist organization planted bombs in various theatres during the Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opening night. In an unrelated story, the average IQ of the planet seems to have almost doubled overnight.

@ eattrn: Oh yes, it was.

I regret seeing this film, and I apologize for adding my $8 to the total rake of Bay. This film was absolutely atrocious, and I ended up yelling at someone who clapped for it when the credits rolled, hollering “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

This movie was inexcusably bad.

@ Bombay – Maybe you should go back to coaching the Mighty Ducks or doing rails of a $20 hookers ass with your brother…it wasn’t THAT bad.

I imagine you’re one of those guys that go’s to movies like Transformers and Star Trek looking for deep thought provoking plot lines. If you didn’t go to watch explosions and robots fighting each other, then shut the hell up…cuz that’s all this movie is about. The CGI was phenominal, better than the first one. The story was shit but what did you expect. Maybe next time go see the Promotion or go check out My Sister’s Keeper when it comes out. Those seem more up you alley.

I did go to see Robots fighting, but the juvenile humor and just overall shoddy writing detracted from it. Hell, even movies like Bloodsport were more coherent. From the way you’re lashing out with personal attacks I’m guessing that deep down, you too were highly disappointed by the film but don’t want to back down from sucking Michael Bay off. I’m sorry he hurt you.

So go ahead and put us down,

Time has come for REVENGE OF THE FALLEN!

No amount of CGI can make Shia LaBouefff any less irritating.

Fist

Too bad this movie didn’t get any advertising or anything, might have made $100mil.

I am curious how much money audi paid for the opening scene with the R8.

Dear Michael Bay,

You, sir, are a twit. You’ve got a budget of like a brazilian dollars and yet you can’t allot $2M to get some full frontal from Megan Fox. Instead you give us robot testicles. Your next movie better damn well be a remake of “2 Girls 1 Cup” staring Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Love Hewitt or I’m coming to your house, you turd-burgling pile of horse jizz.

Warmest regards,
Males everywhere, Ages 13-39

I’m gonna go ahead and comment on that poll and make my vote for Kim K. Sorry fellas, I know you all love your Megan here, she’s just not that appealing to me.

*Open, McG’s House*
Phone Rings
McG: Yo Dawg, Get at me!
*Dead air*
McG: Hello? Is anyone there? Christian? C-Note, is that you?
Caller: *KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!”
McG: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Caller: …OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
McG: …AAAAAAAAAAAY!

Bombay, you’re the one that stated you personally attacked someone that just enjoyed their movie experiance by yelling at the end of the movie like a crazy Perez Hilton wannabe…and I’m the one with the problem. I got exactly what I wanted out of it. I got to see Megan Fox be insanly hot and robots kill each other during 2 hours of mindless entertainment…mission accomplished. And if you can’t laugh at a mom eating a hashbownie and having a freak out, or two obviously “urban” robots calling each other pussies, then you sir must not have a soul.

Touché. Perhaps overreacting on the retarded film goers was out of bounds. It’s not their fault they are mentally infirm.

I’m usually entertained by casual racism, drug, and dick jokes. When they’re done -well-. This movie was not done well. All it was, was pathetic. When the best things you can say about a film were that the CG was alright when you could discern which giant robots were fighting, that the sound production was good, and that the explosions were big… that’s just sad.

Not sad, just Michael Bay making movies. I won’t defend that hack, I can think of at least a half dozen directors that would’ve been a better choice for Transformers(James Cameron, Doug Liman, John Favreau, Tony Scott, Peter Berg, Wolfgang Peterson). Unfortunatley for everyone, Dreamworks picked him.