06.22.09 TIM BURTON’S ALICE IN WONDERLAND PICS

Ummm….

Judging by Anne Hathaway’s picture, the runway’s a little dark.

Fek is literally going to shit himself when he sees this post. Sorry Al, but he literally will. That’s some freaky fucking make up work.

If there’s one director I want filming a parable about a young girl going through puberty, it’s Tim Burton.

If there’s two directors I want filming a parable about a young girl going through puberty, the second is definitely not Roman Polanski.

Johnny Depp looks like the ghost of Carrot Top.

Crispin Glover just came.

I guess somebody forgot to photoshop Helena Bonham Carter’s pic before they released it.

I think I just off’d with my head.

From what I’ve read on WWTD.com the White Queen prefers it in her Brown Hall.

Kathy Griffin is doing movies now? Fuck.

Helena Bohnam Carter hasn’t been that skinny since 2nd grade.

I’m only half-kidding when I say I’d like to see Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels as Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

Sorry guys, I gotta go.

A hookah smoking caterpillar has given me the call.

The Remake of Drop Dead Fred is looking pretty good.

Was Tim Burton going for the rodeo clown look with this make up?

or

The Sideshow Bob/Bozo look?

or

Wendy from Wendy’s/Ronald McDonald look?

Something tells me the first time we see the Chesire Cat, I’m going to be expecting him to ask Alice “Why so serious?”

Holy shit. Johnny Depp looks just like Madonna

I’m 90% sure I’m not supposed to be turned on by how much Helena Bonham Carter looks like John Wayne Gacy.

I guess Elton John wasn’t available to play the White Queen.

Hey Tim…when you hear people on the street yelling “Eat Me” at you, they’re not quoting lines from this movie.

Donkey, I think you mean “Where does he get those wonderful toys?”

I see Tim Burton has yet again stole inspiration from a great african american actor, yet refuses to put any black people in his films. Tim Burton, you’ll be hearing from Forest Whitaker’s agent!

These pics remind me of the last Coppertone conference I went to.

These are simply the result of Carrot top taking a Michael Jackson sex joke way too far…

I’m curious about his Mad Hatter voice because his Willy Wonka looked and sounded like somebody who had just finished shooting a gay Bukake porn.

This reminds me: you know there are things out there, including Tim Burton stuff (sometimes), that are cool/trippy/scary as a result of good writing, and/or twisted costumes and make-up, and/or unique/brilliant acting, and/or pitch perfect score, and/or bizarre/off-kilter lighting or set design, etc.

That can be enjoyable, and deservedly so.

But here’s the thing: Gore Porn is the opposite of that. There’s nothing cool or scary about explicitly watching someone get gutted, or beheaded. Gore Porn is the lowest form of entertainment. No subtlety, nothing derived from good…anything.

Gore Porn is like going to a bar and ordering a tall glass of grenadine. It’s like going to a salad bar and just chugging ranch dressing straight from the container.

I wonder if Helena Bonham Carter’s labia majora matches her labia oris.

I can think of lower forms of entertainment:

Nickelback.

Touche Al…touche.

The Mighty Feklahr literally just forshakked Himself. For real.

If Alice folds in The Mad Hatter, she’ll see his hidden meany.

I’m strangely very turned on by these pictures…but I’m not sure which one turns me on more…

I did most of the Make-up for this movie with a bleeding sore and a copy of Nickelodeon Magazine.

I wish that Anne Hathaway played the White Queen from X-Men instead.

Geroge Lucsa is suing for use of “Jabba-Wookie”.

Holy dicksniff!

Anne Hathaway looks like she’s ready for her Queefceañera.

If you look close, Anne Hathaway has three dots tat’d on her eye.

Tim Burton’s Anne Hathaway is named “Ana Jathaguey.

so these arent just pictures from johnny depp and helena bonham carter’s family photo albums?

Depp looks like Frodo had a lovechild with Dr BadVibes from C.O.P.S. Except gayer.