06.11.09 SOMMERS FIRED FROM GI JOE QUESTION MARK?
(The photoshopped sunglasses heard round the world)
There’s a rumor floating around the internet that Stephen Sommers was fired mid-way through shooting G.I. Joe (anyone who saw Van Helsing wouldn’t have hired him in the first place). Here’s the original rumor, which came from this messageboard (sorry for all the words, I’ll edit as best I can):
After a test screening wherein the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie, Brad Weston, had Stephen Sommers, the super hack director fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.
Stuart Baird, a renowned “fixer” editor was brought it to try to see if it could be made releasable. Meanwhile producer Lorenzo [di Bonaventura] whose turkey IMAGINE THAT explodes this weekend as the new bomb in theatres (also championed by Weston) was told his services were no longer needed on the film either.
Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, who turned down other offers from the property to go with the script that was rushed in 8 weeks by Stuart Beattie because of the writer’s strike is frantic that this will destroy the brand and is distancing himself from the pending catastrophe.
NONE of this needed to happen, except someone who did not know the mythology, Lorenzo was in charge of the film and never contradicted Sommers on anything. Lorenzo, was Chairman of Warners and had GI JOE under option there (not as a producer) for SEVEN years and he refused to greenlight the film, stating that because he grew up in Italy he had no knowledge of it. If you google enough, at one point you will see he wanted the film to be about an action hero named MANN (Action Man, get it) and he clearly had no clue what the GI Joe world really was.
LatinoReview just spoke with Di Bonaventura, who denies the story, which isn’t surprising considering the story kind of makes him look bad, and as anyone will tell you, Hollywood peoples’ number one motivator is to not look bad. Other people are refuting the “tested low” part of the story, but when a movie tracking 13% on Rotten Tomatoes can supposedly test well, it just goes to show that maybe an audience full of unemployed extras isn’t the greatest indicator of… anything. But the part that smells of BS to me is part where the CEO of Hasbro is supposedly embarrassed. This is the same guy producing a Candyland movie. This guy wouldn’t embarrassed of his daughter doing scheiss porn. Or worse, Danny Masterson.
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There are 27 comments about:
SOMMERS FIRED FROM GI JOE QUESTION MARK?
I double-dare them to hire Marc Summers.
Cobraaaaa! Retreeeeeat!
This movie blows. And blowing is half the battle.
Its a No-Go for Yo-Joe.
Looks like the film has hit a Roadblock.
Looks like this film is Snakebit.
Sommers luck finally came up SnakeEyes.
God, making fun of this movie is too easy.
Also, why is Tom Green wearing an oxygen mask? Is Cobra Commander a metaphor for ball cancer?
LatinoReview just spoke with Di Bonaventura, who denies the story
He know’s the first rule in Latino relations:
Deny anything a Mexican asks you.
I imagine a conversation between LatinoReview and Lorenzo DiBonaventura is very sweaty.
No biggie. Hitman changed directors mid movie…and that film turned out…oh…wait…
In all seriousness…the animated movie GI Joe Resolute was the best incarnation of a GI Joe movie we’ll ever get.
In all nonseriousness…this movie looks to be in a Trouble-Bubble.
“…the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount”
It’s a movie based on a 1960’s action figure toy. What the hell did they expect?
Good. Deciding to direct a GI Joe movie is probably the worst directorial decision one could make. The studio had just cause.
Not sure how much weight to attach to an opinion that includes the phrase “the GI Joe world.” I am perfectly happy in the My Pretty Pony world, thanks.
General Hawk: When all else fails…(Dramatic Pause)…so do we.
The LatinoReview reporter got confused, asking why their battle cry is “I Joe!”
That’s My LITTLE Pony, mister.
** goes back to brushing Pony’s pink tail **
Sorry fags, but when di Bonaventura asked me to spec script Three Little Kittens and “punch it up a little” I was huffing a shit load of Krylon Gold and the GI Joe script came out by accident.
Since we’re dealing with LatinoReview, shouldn’t the headline read:
¿SOMMERS FIRED FROM GI JOE QUESTION MARK?
Whenever somebody says, “Question Mark…” I always tell them to, “Fuck a weed eater.”
I was talking to Lorenzo di Bonaventuri and he was describing how his wads shoot out with high velocity but relatively low pressure.
*giggles and high fives his physics club buddies*
Bernoulli agrees with you Donk, in principle.
Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner… is frantic that this will destroy the brand and is distancing himself from the pending catastrophe.
Daddy? Why can’t I have a nine-dollar ninja toy with a sword and a gun?
Because the movie sucked, that’s why, Junior.
Well can I have some Hot Wheels instead?
Why don’t you ask Vin Diesel and Paul Walker why you can’t have any Hot Wheels?
Maaaaan… sometimes I wish I knew what the hell you guys were talking about.
Most times I’m happy to wallow in my uneducated borderline-retarded ignorance.
G.I. Blow is what I yell when I pull a double ender.*
*Shitting and puking simultaneously
New up.
[leans in close to Al, whispers]
…vaginas…
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