06.04.09 JOHNNY 5 IS A ROBOT CHICKEN
Aw, remember the good old days when Puerto Ricans could teach a robot how to steal car stereos?
When the remake of Short Circuit was first announced last year, it was set to be written by original Short Circuit writers Brent Maddock and the S.S. Wilson. The original was about a robot, intended as a weapon, who got struck by lightning and turned into a hippie, and then had to run from the government who wanted to destroy him (as I’ve said, almost all 80s movies were about peaceful aliens, robots, or mutants running from the government for some reason). Today it’s being reported that Robot Chicken writer Dan Milano has been hired on as a writer to give Maddock and Wilson’s script a “subversive edge.”
“We’re bringing Number 5 into the 21st Century and taking advantage of the improvements in robotics that are so massive that robots are now performing heart surgeries in hospitals,” Producer David Foster said. [Variety]
“It’s amazing, some people are even designing robots to give idiotic PR quotes.” What Foster means, of course, is that in the updated version, Johnny 5 will wear sunglasses, and possibly have a faux hawk. Seriously, who wants to bet me? I guaran-goddamn-tee you either the trailer, the poster, or both will have Johnny 5 wearing sunglasses with his arms crossed over his chest. Because he has attitude, you see.
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There are 23 comments about:
JOHNNY 5 IS A ROBOT CHICKEN
I always thought Bender should get his own movie.
Um, excuse me fair leader, but I do believe that in Short Circuit 2, Johnny 5 went into an electronics store much like a Radio Shack and used bits and pieces to repair the damage to himself caused by Oscar’s thugs. The heroic robot also gave himself a makeshift robot mohawk — a ROhawk, if you will, LOL! — leading to hilarious results.
The subversive angle comes when Johnny 5 is found to be running a robotic dog fighting ring.
Subversive, huh? He gradually reveals he’s Muslim?
The new, edgy Johnny 5 will be single and pregnant with 8 robot babies.
Johnny 5 will transform into a Volkswagon Beetle. Except for the flower. Someone has to put the flower in him. Because that’s real.
Johnny 5 thinks ASIMO is an Uncle Tom.
Oh sweet sunglasses llama! So much better than that monocle alpaca shit.
The new, edgy Johnny 5 was in on the Bruno gag the whole time.
Dan Milano’s gonna have a hard time convincing people to pay $9 for a 15 minute movie with serious continuity errors.
I’m pretty sure Pixar already made this movie….what with the robot and he wants to be human but isnt and the oil jokes that are really about urine.
Hell, I’d watch this if they did it in claymation. Mostly to see if they have a tool in photoshop to make cgi sunglasses look like pumice.
Okay let’s see, estimate of Japan’s population is 126,974,628, now that times an estimated $9 a ticket, plus you figure half of them are going twice, crap. That’s $1,714,157,478! That should help California a bit.
The new, edgy Johnny 5 will play guitar for Rob Zombie!
(Don’t believe Him? Look it up.)
I personally was never a fan of sunglasses in posters. I gravitated more to the Dane Cook neck melting style of craptasticly lazy touch ups.
Johnny 5 dont put up with no jive
Summer 2011
Dan Milano has been hired on as a writer to give Maddock and Wilson’s script a “subversive edge.”
THE LACES WERE IN!!!
Johnny 5 will masturbate to a Texas Instruments calculator held upside-down with 80085 on the display screen.
*Flying Gov’t Robot explodes in mid-air*
Johnny 5: *blows smoke off rocket finger* My batteries were included, bitch.
If the most exciting thing David Foster could think of that robots do nowadys is heart surgery, we’re already in trouble.
The movie will be 10 hours long, one set and you want be able to see the action because the fucking hands will be in the hole.
want = won’t.
damn it
As long as Carlos Mencia doesnt play the leader of the Los Lobos its cool
Get Lobo to be leader of the Los Lobos. I would watch that. I suppose a starved and beaten Steve Buscemi would work as a backup.
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