06.23.09 ROUNDUP: TRON MAN FORCED TO SELL PLANE
Jay Maynard, aka Tron Man, who’s a computer consultant (shocking, I know), has been forced to sell his private plane on eBay due to the tightening economy. I can’t believe this guy used to own his own plane. He must’ve had to beat the pussy off with a lightsabre. |Wired|
Universal bought the rights to Larry Doyle’s novel outline for a novel Go Mutants!, “a teen comedy/adventure set in a high school where all of the tropes from classic 1950s alien invasion movies came true. Years later, the children of those mutant creatures have assimilated among the other kids.” Hopefully it’s as good as the film adaptation of Doyle’s other novel, I Love You, Beth Cooper, which is perhaps most generously described as a cinematic skid mark. |Variety|
Cher is set to play Christina Aguilera’s mentor in Burlesque, a film about “an ambitious small-town Iowa girl with a big voice who comes of age in a neo-burlesque club on Sunset Boulevard.” So these burlesque places actually exist? Are they like strip clubs for gay guys? Drag shows with girls? Anyway, I liked this when it was called Coyote Ugly. Wait, no I didn’t. |Variety|
Kevin Lima has been hired to direct Frank, a modern retelling of Frankenstein, centering on “a teenage prodigy who’s on the cutting edge of cell research in medical school. After several unsuccessful attempts at socializing with her peers, she decides to use her scientific prowess and piece together a friend out of the med school’s instructional cadavers.” Fingers crossed Mickey Rourke plays Frank, who’s always trying to get her to have a beer and pet his dogs. |Empire|
And here’s the trailer for Rob Zombie’s H2. I’d love to have something funny to say about it, but it’s just about the most boring thing I can imagine. If they played movies at the dentist’s office, this would be the movie.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/final-destination-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/08/robzombie-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/05/christinaaguilera-boobs-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/04/2248-tronman-150x150.jpg)
There are 66 comments about:
ROUNDUP: TRON MAN FORCED TO SELL PLANE
The prospect of Cher teaching anyone burlesque makes me want to hide. I still think she’s a dude.
Can’t we put landmark status on certain movies like we do with buildings? The original Halloween was fucking awesome. Don’t fuck with it. Again. Just because your fake last name is zombie doesn’t make you a horror director. Ass.
Hilarious comment, right guys?
small-town Iowa girl with a big voice
Like them old smoking women in His trailer park screaming at their mixed grand-children to stop playing in the street?
pretty sure we’re not gonna see jenny gump’s boobs again… hmmm? oh, tron guy, airplane, economy… yeah, that’s, uh, unfortunate.
or like Burnsy’s mom when… ah fuck it…
Sorry, make that, “stop playing in the fucking street”.
I can’t see the vid, but will just assume Tron-guy is the killer in H2.
Buyer beware. That plane has Tron semen all over the interior. You know that, right? If you can’t get any tail, there’s nothing better than twisting one off at 500 feet while you circle your apartment complex’s swimming pool.
Not that I would know. I’m a goddamned sexual Tyrannosaurus.
Tron guy had a pilots license? That’s just plane disturbing.
You spelled lightsaber wrong…you nerd.
Lightsabre = Canadian spelling. Sorry, I’m ghost writing. Don’t tell anyone.
Tron guy did try to save his plane by participating in a Tron/Transfomer crossover Tranny Porno called “Tronnysformer”.
“TRONNYSFORMER, FAR MORE THAN MEETS THE EYES (SPURTSZ!)”
A fucking teen comedy/adventure set in a high school?!?!?
SYNCHRONIZE WATCHES!
I’m a goddamned sexual Tyrannosaurus.
Extinct? :(
My favorite line from a teen highschool comedy comes from 3 O’clock High’s Buddy Revell:
“You are the puss that always bled.”
Extinct? :(
Yup.
Hee hee. When you italicize a frowny face, it looks like Kirk Douglas.
Cher dancing in that “If I Can Turn Back Time” video made me never get an erection for ass tats and drag queens.
1,000 thank you’s, Cher.
Tron man should start doing Geico commercials.
TrON Man may have sold his plane, but you best to believe that you’ll see him cruising around town for hot bitches on his sweet-ass TRON BIKE!
JHC! JHC! Check it out….
;0 <——Terry Schiavo
Oh Pauly. I’ve never really been attracted to minorities but I so want you inside me right now.
You better be careeful what you ask for, JHC.
Cause I’m inside your house as we speak.
B()_
That’s my “Stephen Hawking drooling”.
Frank? That’s just unrealistic. Girls can’t do science.
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