(“I wish this had chocolate in it.”)
At a press conference this morning in Beverly Hills, Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Science president Sid Ganis (pronounced “gay anus”) announced that the Best Picture category will expand to include 10 nominees.
It’s a dramatic change that is sure to roil future Oscar contests, beginning with the upcoming one set for March 7 at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood. Actually, though, this is a return to the way the Oscars were run in its earliest years [they switched from 10 to five nominees in 1944 -Ed.]. The change effects only the one Oscar category. [NYTimes]
I’m not sure what this means for an organization that awards best picture to movies like Crash and Slumdog Millionaire, and nominates The Reader while totally shafting The Wrestler. Will more nominees make them love retarded people and the holocaust any less? I doubt it. Retards and the holocaust are like the Beach Boys and lab puppies to the academy. I guess what I’m saying is, this could be your year, Britney Spears time-traveling Holocaust movie.
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Does roil mean sodomize?
So this basically means that five additional wives will be hit after the Oscars, each year.
Seems a number of things changed for the worse in 1944.
Beats 5 to 10 in the state penn.
“Sid Ganis” is what you get after wiping your dick across an old slice of Colby-Jack.
Just another attempt to get films like Donkey Punch, Teeth and Beverly Hill Chihuahua awards
So it’s possible Samuel L. Jackson will be in 9 of the 10 nominated films?…wait, Best Picture? Oh, forget that. I thought I read “Blerst Picture”
So with the additional 5 nominees, I’ve I’ve now an extra 3 minutes to try and convince my gay uncle to change the channel from the Oxygen Network.
Jenna Haze also expands to include 10 nominees.
Great, just want I always wanted: the opportunity for 5 extra strangers to get on my television and remind me that coke can accomplish anything.
I haven’t heard awesome news like this since my laywer said they will offer a plea bargain.
If the Academy really wants to wow us with expansion, they’d finally throw an extra leg on that statue and periodically cut to footage of Sharon Stone blowing it.
Thus changing the phrase “I’m just happy to be nominated” to “I’m just a tick on a bear’s ass”.
So the Best Picture award is now like the Stanley Cup: everyone gets into the playoffs and eventually a bunch of guys and their beards will dance around with it.
They’re just making room for Tarantino’s head.
You nailed it, though the nail’s coated with the rubber of sarcasm….pretend you didn’t just read that.
I mean are the 5 new spots all reserved for Weinstein projects? How many feel-good non-controversial pg13 social commentary can they nominate a year?
Michael Moore prays that the Academy will also expand its table menus.
Hopefully this year my remake of Glory with my sisters stuffed animals will finally get its due. AICN said it was “Riotous good drama, you’ll laugh so hard you’ll lose your stuffing!”
Sid Ganis: ” I would like to announce that the Academy will expand its Best Picture Nominees to now include five additional last names ending in ‘berg’. “
Whem I’m about to cum, I think about baseball. So instead of fucking for 5 minutes, I fuck for 5 minutes and 10 seconds.
Yay! Five more movies get to be losers. I hope they all have Paris Hilton in them.
If you’re thinking about a sport to prevent yourself from getting too excited, doesn’t that tell you something about your sport?
O o o o o o I know this one.
Does it mean uh…
O cmon I know this one
I GOT IT
He’s gay
I meant baseball is gay. I apologize unknown third person pronoun.
My retard holocaust movie would be titled “Ooooh! Hitler Said to ‘Fly’ a ‘Kite’?”
Hitler was pushing for nein, nein, nein nominees.
They certainly picked the right year to add Best Picture nominees.
*nods approvingly at reviews of 2ransformers.*
Or michael bay´s attempt to be spilberg, the diary of anne frankenstein.
Fantastic. Double the amount of bribe swag going to Academy members! If anyone deserves it…
They should up the number of best director nominees too. That way more newcomers can edge out Marty.