(“We sleep in bunk beds.”)

Michael Bay has been taking a lot of heat lately for his jive-talking, illiterate, gold-tooth wearing minstrel bots, and FilmSchoolRejects recently got a chance to ask Transformers screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman about it.

FSR: I heard that the gold tooth was Michael Bay’s idea, but do you have any response to those who found The Twins offensive?
Orci: Number one, we sympathize. Yes, the gold tooth was not in the script, that’s true.
Kurtzman: It’s really hard for us to sit here and try to justify it. I think that would be very foolish, and if someone wants to be offended by it, it’s their right. We were very surprised when we saw it, too, and it’s a choice that was made. If anything, it just shows you that we don’t control every aspect of the movie.
FSR: Were you offended by them?
Kurtzman: I wasn’t thrilled. I certainly wasn’t thrilled.
Orci: Yeah, same reaction. I’m not easily offended, but when I saw it, I thought, ‘Someone’s gonna write about that.’”

If you’ve ever seen a press-tour interview, you know it’s almost impossible to get anything out of movie people other than glowing, unoriginal, embarrassing praise.  In the movie business, acknowledging a disagreement and saying “I wasn’t thrilled” is tantamount to calling someone a devil-worshipping holocaust denier.  But that’s why it’s nice to work with Michael Bay.  You know you can say anything you want about him in a print interview, because he’ll probably be too busy shopping for gold teeth to see it, and anyway he can barely read.  True story.