Wrestler director Darren Aronofsky’s next project, Black Swan, is inching closer to production now that Natalie Portman is attached as the lead. Also? The plot sounds awesome:
“Swan” centers on a veteran ballerina (Portman) who finds herself locked in a competitive situation with a rival dancer, with the stakes and twists increasing as the dancers approach a big performance. But it’s unclear whether the rival is a supernatural apparition or if the protagonist is simply having delusions. [THR]
You know, just your basic feuding-ballerina-where-one-of-the-ballerinas-maybe-isn’t-real story. Ho hum, where’s the twist? They should change the lead to a male ballerina, or as we say in the business, a ballerino. And I don’t mean to brag, but I was practically born in this leotard. (*touches floor with crotch bulge*)



Rule No. 1: You don’t talk about Fouetté Club.
BURNSY KNOWS A BALLERINA WORD! (*open-mouthed body snatchers shriek*)
I love the scene in NATALIE PORTMAN VS. THE GHOST BALLERINA where the ghost ballerina (Patrick Swayze) comes up behind her and they mold that clay pot to Unchained Melody.
If ballet is cool enough for A.C. Slater, then it’s cool enough for this Preppy.
I’m sure they can work out some sort of agreement, maybe strike a plie bargain.
Forrest Whittaker is the antagonist. The twist is in his eyelid.
*record scratch*
Pirouewhat now?
*double take*
I’ve got five positions I’d like to teach Natalie Portman, gnome sayin’?