06.18.09 ANTARCTICA IS COLD, DARK, AND MURDERY

Damnit, now what am I supposed to call my next Republican rally?

I wouldn’t call Antarctica the most isolated landmass in the world. I mean, have they seen Chaz Bono lately?

Kate Beckinsale in “Whiteout”. Its funny cause I want my “whiteout” in Kate Beckinsale.

This man was going to change the world…but it looks like someone made sure he can’t…arctica. YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I thought this film would be about a copy editor going over one of Quentin Tarantino’s scripts.

Frank: We found a receipt Horatio. Its for an ice pick.

Horatio: Seems to me Frank…(sunglasses)…we got ourselves one cool customer. YEAAAAAAAH!!!

Horatio:…(sunglasses)…Freeze. YEEEAAAAAH!

I heard this was the original title for ‘Milk’.

For filmmakers, they might as well start calling Antarctica ‘White Africa’.

Those Coca-Cola Polar Bears have really gone off the deep end.

SMELL.

YOUR.

LAST.

FART.

Where are the fucking vampires?

Kate is at that critical juncture in her career where if she doesn’t start showing some titty, she’s going to become irrelevant. Wait, she hasn’t shown titty in any other films, has she? I about messed my pants the first time I saw Underworld Evolution.

That Scott Speedman is fucking dreamy.

Kate’s gonna feel like she’s stranded alone with a maniacal killer a million miles from civilization when she realizes the REAL Nicole Simpson killer has been hiding out on Antarctica for all of these years!

J-by default, Hollywood “celebrities” are irrelevant.

Comedic Minority Sidekick: Welcome to my home, esé

Random White Guy: What are you talking about, Ruiz? Nobody owns Antarctica

Comedic Minority Sidekick: Hey meng, it don’t get no more south of the border than this!

*Ruiz takes a swig of tequila and kisses the gold cross hanging around his neck. Later, he is found as one of the first murder victims*

“Captain, they found the body outside his tent, wrapped in a yoga mat.”

“This is the worst kind of murder, Detective…” [sunglasses] “…pre-meditated and cold blooded.”

YEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

@Keyhodey

Dear God man. Don’t give these guys any ideas. Theres still time for reshoots. I’m fearfully regretting the Polar bear joke I made.

[heads to corner]

Oooh, look, s’mores. Wait, that’s not marshmallow…..

…AND THAT’S NOT CHOCOLATE!!@!!@

Is Aunt Artica anything like your Aunt Flo? I mean your twat is a cold and bloody place…

New up! (Just as Inky was gettin’ funny!)

A film in Antarctica was director Dominic Sena’s overly elaborate plan to get a glimpse of Kate Beckinsale’s nipples through her shirt.

Bravo Sena. Bravo.

And what does Mega Movers have to do with history?! Every time I put on History Channel these days, I either get that, the Modern Marvels episode on snack foods or that end of the world special they seem to love. Oh, and sorry about the rant…Whiteout sounds horrible.

This movid does sound just like Antartica, cause I do not want to be there.

@Burnsy: Wouldn’t it have made more sense to call it BlackOut?