In a turn of events that can only be described as “buttcheek vibrating”, the Jaden Smith Karate Kid project has picked up a new writer.  It’s strange, you’d think a movie starring Jackie Chan and Will Smith’s kid, partially financed by the Chinese government, set in China, and called Karate Kid even though the Chinese martial art is Kung Fu would practically write itself. (after you beat with a truncheon and lock it in a sweat shop).

Columbia has brought on Steven Conrad, who penned 2006’s “The Pursuit of Happyness,” to work on the studio’s reboot of the 1980s film [replacing Chris Murphy]. The screenwriter also penned the Nicolas Cage family tale “The Weather Man” and is attached to write the Scott Rudin-produced drama “Aloft” and the celebrity look-alike dramedy “Chad Schmidt.”

Production will begin next month on the new “Karate,” which [Agent Cody Banks and Pink Panther 2 director] Harald Zwart is directing. Jaden Smith occupies the role played by Ralph Macchio in the 1984 film, while Jackie Chan takes on the Pat Morita part. [THR/RiskyBiz]

Meanwhile, I will continue playing the part of dog-covering-his-eyes-with-his-paws.  Ruh-roh!