SUCK ON FROZEN JAMES BOND JUICE
06.02.09
Del Monte Foods has released the first photos of the Daniel-Craig-shaped popsicles from their “License to Chill” line. My sources close to the company say the idea was born out of a brainstorming session in which the CEO challenged, “Folks, my family has been selling frozen juice phalluses for seven generations. I just have one question: How can we make this gayer?”
Here at BASF, we don’t make a lot of the products you buy. We make a lot of the products you buy gayer.
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I’ve had a lot of fruity dudes in my mouth, but……
*sighs*
nevermind
I mean, chicks are getting them too, right? That’s not full on gay. It’d be more of a Bi-Sicle.
Pauly: You expext me to eat that?
Del Monte Rep: No Mr. Dangerously! I expect you to…well….that was kinda the idea behind this edible James Bond. So yeah, I guess I do expect you to eat that.
Seriously, if there was more popsicle below his waste, it would look like he’s beating off.
I would suck on Stath’s pop.
I mean, a Statham pop.
As a girl, I have to say this is not an appealing concept.
Doesn’t “Del Monte” mean “What What in the Butt”?
Ladies can also buy my new line of edible underwear. (hint: they aren’t edible)
*makes Daniel-Craig-shaped popsicle 69 with Macho Man Randy Savage WWF Ice Cream Bar*
OOOOOOH YEEEEEEEEEEEAH!
Flavors: Passion Fruit, Bro Grape, and Butt-Cherry.
Looks more like Frank from Hellraiser before he’d fully regenerated. The Roger Moore version of this is just the stick.
I bet Cynthia Plaster Caster has all her old molds pulled out and is furiously doing cryogenic research as we speak…uh type.
The more you suck on the head, the less he looks like James Bond and the more he looks like Paul Reubens.
They had to stop offering these on the Twilight cruise because not one passenger could figure out which end to put in her mouth.
Daniel Craig always looked like he had a stick up his butt anyway…
They couldnt make a Sean Connery version, as it would kick your ass for licking it.
They got a deal on the popsicle sticks used though. They found a whole batch of rejected tongue depressors that went soft in women’s mouths.
In related news, TengoDooter inc. announces the introduction of their “Shaken, Not Stirred” line of baby pacifiers.
The Quantum Of Sol Ice Pop
del monnte’s tag line for this product is just sean connery screaming, “delishish!”
Someone’s occupation was to carve that likeness.
Quite the Odd Job.
This popsicle’s boss melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
Best served at 007 degrees Fahrenheit.
their also optioning a “defiance” themed line of frozen jewces
*abandons Testcicle joke stolen from Futurama anyway*
When the Disney Princess’s bar gets pregnant the Daniel Craig popsicle will pin it on the Sonic bar (don’t youtube Sonic ’06).
They’re on a mission to stop kids from buying bomb pops.
These popsicles are for your ice only.
They didn’t make the ears stick out enough.
Also: jesus, that’s just a little bit creepy, no?
Of all the movie-themed popsicles, my least favorite were the Wicked Witch of the West bars. Holy fuck those things didn’t stay frozen for more than 30 seconds.
The detail on the popsicle is impressive. I bet the mold requires plenty o’toolin’.
They should have done this with Han Solo.
They should have done this with Han Solo.
They made an entire line up plastic cups in his honor.
New up.