06.10.09 THIS IS WHY GOD CREATED HEMLOCK

In the immortal words of Socrates: I drank what?

No, Miss Vardalos, I did not in fact say you need a shot of ouzo. You’re close though.

Nia is HOT!

Diarrhea HOT!

Her middle name is “Vomitoria”.

Nia Vardalos is the store-brand Sandra Bullock.

Nia Vardalos is the Malt-o-Meal Marisa Tomei, Donk.

In my World, “highly tested” is a BAD thing.

Nia Vardalos is the outlet store Celine Dion.

They shot one of the scenes for this movie on my street in Brooklyn last year. I apologize to you all for not firebombing the set.

Alternate title: ‘Beggars Can be Choosers’.

Nia Vardalos is the Safeway Select Catherine Zeta-Jones.

If the botoxed guy from Northern Exposure isn’t getting anal by the 5th date then he needs to tell Noah Vandalgrease to fuck clean off.

Nia Vardalos is the swap meet Julia Roberts.

Donk, I’ve always wanted to ask a Greek:

Does a Greek woman’s labia really look like pita bread?

Nia Vardalos is fucking boring.

Pauly, only with Tzatziki.

Line, you find new and interesting ways to pique His misogyny!

Nia Vardalos is the bargain basement Cindy Crawford.

*Lince

Trust me guys, when a woman has a neck that looks that strong, she hardly ever gets it the way you think she does.

Nia Vardalos is the Dollar Tree Kathleen Turner.

Nia Vardalos is the Ebay Carol Channing.

Whoa, even without sound, that was both annoying and annoying. Even with that sweet what’s-his-name Corbet or Corbin or whoever he is.

Nia Vardaloz is the Korean-Imported Debra Messing.

Fuck it, Greeks can’t tell the difference between an S and a Z anyway.