UHHHH, WHAT?
06.25.09
Tyler Perry is a certified superstar. His movies cost nothing to make, they all make ridiculous amounts of money, and he puts out like two a year. Yet his success is virtually impossible to understand. I see the trailers for his movies, and they look like Spanish soap operas translated to English. Hopefully this new “motion poster” for I Can Do Bad All by Myself can help me understand the phenomenon. You have to watch it via this link because I didn’t want a song autoplaying on my page. Basically, it’s a flower that blooms and has the face of a woman on it, accompanied by a song with the lyrics, “OOHHHHHOOOOHHHYEAAAAHHHAAHHHAYEAAAHHHOOOHHHH….”
Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on with this? It reminds me of a Christian t-shirt or bumper sticker, except the caption is in a different language.
Petit Update: Twitterer Hank1914 tweefed: “It’s about a woman blossoming into a new woman after escaping a physically abusive marriage with her daughter.” Oh sure, spoil my fun with your intelligent analysis.
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Is Do Bad an euphemism for jerking off because i do that all the time, only i don’t consider it bad, i call it a public service. rape has gone way down here since i discovered myself in the shower at age 11.
This is the kind of movie I’d drink to help wash down a giant piece of shit that I just ate.
” I Can Do Bad All by Myself ” sounds like the title to a 6th graders report on autism.
That’s the sound women make when they’re having sex with Tyler Perry. Also, they turn into flowers.
El Guapo: Jefe, you do not understand women. You cannot force open the petals of a flower. When the flower is ready, it opens itself up to you.
Jefe: So when do you think Carmen will open up her flower to you?
El Guapo: Tonight, or I will kill her!
Tyler Perry is trying to get Morgan Freeman to star so he can change the name to I Can Do Dad All By Myself.
It’s a metaphor. It’s saying how this day and age, even some stupid meaningless animation for a tyler perry movie can bloom into a face of some black chick. I’m not surprised you didn’t get it. Your not as smart as the movie studios think you’re.
I want that song to play at my funeral, as the preacher reads my self-written eulogy explaining where in the world I captured Carmen Sandiego.
The last time I tried to do bad all by myself I ended up actually helping people. It’s harder than it looks dammit
My brother once showed me a “motion poster”. He did so as he tore my fucking “monkey in overalls” placard off my bedroom wall. Fucker.
Crap, Farrah Fawcett.
Look, I’m not trying to be a fag or nothing, but given my background I happen to know that the yellow rose signifies “friendship” and “you’re just too fat to be someone that I’d fuck”.
Flip this poster over and it’s a post about Farrah Fawcett.
Oh, Goddammit! I knew that if I watered my flowers with my victims blood something fucked up would happen, but I was hoping I would get something like Audrey Jr.
Oh well, I guess I could get the Tulips to service me another way.
Roses are yellow, even though they’re black. If you see this movie, they will be loud people in the back.
A lot of filmmakers put their personal wants and needs into their films as a way to connect themselves to the film and, by association, the audience. I guess Perry’s trying to tell us he always wanted to blossom as a Woman.
Not a big surprise.
“I Can Do Bad All by Myself” at least sounds somewhat productive. Given the shit that I do when I’m alone, this film would be called “I Can’t Do Shit All by Myself, Now Do I Leave the Cellophane On This Fucking Old Pizza Before I Put It In the Microwave or What? Fuck me!? FUCK YOU, MIKE “.
I can do bad by myself, but I need your help to do fag.
First Delouise, now Fawcett… Burt Reynolds literally had better watch his ass.
“I Can Do Bad All by Myself” was originally going to star David Carradine.
When Oprah and Tyler Perry fuck, they form into one Della Reese.
Roses are red, but this one is yellow. Because your breath smells of piss from a fellow.
Tyler Perry has a brown Pocket Pussy on his dick at all times.
I dont mean to be the annoying n00b that uses “n00b” and posts a link on teh comments section, but my friend did a serious analysis of tyler perry movies that one of your lowly intellect can grasp: modernjackassmag.com/tag/tyler-perry
If you are going to refer to my imtellect as low, spell “the” right.
And when your friend finished that serious analysis I bet you met his browns.
Tyler Perry sold his soul to the Devil for the ability to make high grossing movies, KFC’s secret recipe, and a malt liqour fountain in his house.
What about me and Farrah Faucet, Al? It was a mercy killing I swear!!
A serious analysis? Man, are you wrong place.
Ya wanna see my poster motion?
[puts fingers to lips in V, sticks out tounge, tounge starts thrashing around like Bugs Bunny when he drank the Mr. Hyde potion]
I’d like Tyler Perry to start using his muslim name: Barack’em rack’em rack’em Obama.
Madman a fucking chink! You do no bad here VC!
A loud, stereotypical black woman. I liked it better when Artie Lange did it on MadTV
Because of Tyler Perry, when I visit MLK’s grave I’m gonna dig his ass up and kick him in the balls.
Crappy, I know you had that poster of her on your wall when you were 13.
Tyler Perry is the black Michael McDonald’s music
I did, and asked my mommy why it made my ugly stick tingle. She said it was Satan trying to make my sin milk come out.
The target audience for this ad campaign is obviously hallucinogenic drug users. WIND CHIIIIIIIIIIIMES.
That poster could kick the Green Lantern’s ass.
I’d rather use my dick to fuck a fade hairstyle into Maya Angelou’s head, than watch this movie.
Even if he wins an Academy Award and cures cancer with his semen, Tyler Perry will always be “that dude with the shitty TBS sitcom” to me.
I Can Do Bad All by Myself, that’s why my girlfriend insists we bring a vibrator into the sack with us.
:( Empty libido balloon
You know for the longest time I thought Madea was Samuel L. Jackson dressed up in drag? And then I found out, I really didn’t care.
“I Can Do Bad All by Myself” is what my cousin with night terrors screams at us, after we find him freaking out in the shower at 4:00am trying to rain dance a turd through the drain.
If I was a chink, I would have said
“A sillyus anarasis? Man, are you long place, round eye.”
Oh no he di’ ‘int!
Why do the dumb ones think we’re always talking about them?
And if you are going to create a comment about spelling/grammar, make sure to use proper grammar yourself. Instead of having “right” in that sentence, you need to have “correctly” or some adverb. Learn English good.
tyler perry’s movies are the visual equivalent of kc and jo jo’s music
That poster is creepier than the dude on the quaker oat box.