(Get it? Get it???)
Paul Bettany stars as Charles Darwin in Creation, from Jon Amiel, the director of, uh, Entrapment. Jennifer Connelly co-stars as his wife, Emma Darwin, who seeks to keep him from publishing his controversial theory of evolution, which postulates that the human race was formed when Jesus made love to an orangutan. And afterward they drank sweet, sweet wine. Toby Jones co-stars as Thomas Huxley. I don’t know who that is, but I’m guessing he was short. My, that was informational.
Kirk Cameron plans to refute the film by performing fellatio on a banana.
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When Jesus made love to an orangutan: The Big Bang.
Ironically, when I see Jennifer Connelly I want to spank my monkey.
Looks like Darfail.
Historical fact: That monkey evolved from Robin Williams. Slightly less hairy, equally witty.
According to my sources, Charles Darwin actually came up with the theory of evolution as a way to convince himself that, yes, it is totally possible for a white man to get his white wife pregnant and the baby come out black.
Ass2Ape for the win!
Oh, and yes, Jennifer, you went from being the “Labyrinth” chick to the “Ass2Ass” chick. Deal with it.
Master gave Huxley a sock!
I thought “Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp” pretty much proved Darwin was on to something.
I’d rather stick my opposable thumbs up my butt.
The lost Gospel, in which Jesus gets some orangutang.
Really, I’m just happy to know that things die. That’s why the Darwin Awards are now known as the ‘hanging carradine’. It’s also known as playing with yourself.
Okay fine Darwin! Where the hell does King Kong Bundy fall on the evolutionary scale mister smarty pants?
1 question: Does she get naked?
Not the chimp, Jennifer Connelly.
OK, the chimp too.
Movies like this make Kirk Cameron go apeshit.
Every movie I see Jennifer Connely as kind of a bitch wife where she still loves the main character despite the fact that he’s gay/crazy/going to get her killed, I always think to myself “Why can’t she by MY bitch wife?”
Then my real wife gets mad.
“Natural Selection” reminds me of choosing masturbation material….i should prolly tell that to my shrink.
Will Tyler Perry in a fat suit co-star as the 400lb. gorilla in the room?
Those two need to work on their act a lot harder if they’re going to do their reenactment of Duck Soup’s mirror scene.
Orangutan: We don’t have to take our clothes off to have a good time. Uh-huh.
Jesus: HELLZ YEAH we do if we’re gonna monkey-fuck!
Will somebody please give Vince a pat on the back for his reference to Michelangelo’s painting of God and Adam?
I would pat him on the back, but im nude except for my cape.
Producer:We’ve got this project about Charles Darwin coming together, already have a script and a director attached.
Executive:Who is Charles Darwin?
Producer:The guy who came up with the theory of evolution.
Executive:[blank look on face]
Producer:He went to the Galapagos Islands and studied animals and fossils and started coming up with the idea of evolution.
Executive:Oh, you mean the guy in that Russell Crowe movie…
Producer:Uhhhh…
Executive:Yeah, Paul Bettany, he collected bugs and birds on that island. He was good in that, cast him.
Producer:….OK….
Executive:Boom! Oscar!