06.03.09 HURR, HE’S GONNA GET COVERED IN SEMEN

Hey! No stealing the thunder of His Larry the Cable guy joke!

America’s first superhero got pwned by a punch in the stomach? And fuck that anyway, America’s first superhero was MechaLincoln.

the guy who wrote Speed 2 (ugh), Rush Hour 2 (oof), Catch Me If You Can (*shrug*), The Terminal (eek), and Rush Hour 3 (hurl), and co-wrote Indiana Jones and the Skulls & Crap (*throws feces*)

That’s a very large portfolio (*points at crotch*).

I’d like to hire Michael Bay to direct my Glass Bottom Boat.

Harry must have had a dick like a dog’s, he always had a hard time getting out of the box.

Didn’t get to it last post. How’d them tacos go Burnsy?

I was wondering how long it would take to make a sequel to ‘Donkey Punch’.

Kevin Spacey pulled a cool trick by getting out of a straight jacket.

Spiritualists murdering Houdini was a perfect ploy. If he came back to haunt them, he would only have been proving them right.

I wish Walt Disney pictures would make a movie about putting Air Bud in the bath tub.

Hollywoods going all topsey turvey! I thought the writer and director were the ones doing the tapping to pick the cast. Who’s fucking these guys? Uber-Jews?

If When this movie is bad, Penn & Teller are going to ask Nathanson to volunteer to be sawed in half right before a mysterious stage accident.

There goes Channing Tatum’s next bare-knuckles street fighting movie, ‘Fisted’.

I’ll tell ya, Average Bear, if there’s something more delicious than a Volcano Taco, my fat ass ain’t tasted it.

How about the story of Robert Fulton trying to sell his invention where Lake Erie and the Cuyahoga River meet?

*limps to the corner*

[Opens new tab to buy Penn and Teller tickets]

Also on Jeff’s IMdb page, “Untitled Mili Vanili Project.” This is waaaay gonna suck.

I hope this movie gets “Gaids”.

That’s right, Gay Aids

You’re just pissed cuz you got Spaids.

How far we’ve come as a society when “Gay AIDS” isn’t considered redundant…

Finally, a movie about 80’s hip hop sensation Whodini. And Jeff is working on the Milli Vanili project, so he already has mad street cred.

Donk, I swear to god, I actually saw “Donkey Punch”.

…and on that note, new up.

Hamlup

Wow comments on this site really are nothing but a pissing contest for comment of the week.

Before I give you shit, can you verify for me whether you are or aren’t related to Tony Jaa?

So is Hugh Jackman going to be singing in this?

Also, Vince this line made me nearly hurl Diet Coke all over my monitor

and co-wrote Indiana Jones and the Skulls & Crap (*throws feces*),

People already think the worst of me. Randomly shorting out my POS monitor with spit and soda would only make it worse. Stop this now.