THE HOWARDS ARE THE NEW COPPOLAS
06.09.09Long story short, Bryce Dallas Howard and her brother in law wrote a script, which her father’s production company will produce, and which her father might direct. Long story re-lengthened:
“Originals” is an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma. The idea for “Originals” germinated a few years ago, when Howard, an actress from such films as “The Village” and “Spider-Man 3″, [decided to write] something that tackled the quarter-life crisis issues her contemporaries were dealing with.
She roped in Dane Charbeneau and the two have been working on the script for the past couple of years. “Originals” also became more of family affair during the writing process, as Charbeneau began dating Howard’s sister Jocelyn. The two are now are engaged. [THR]
Ah yes, the quarter-life crisis, I know it well. As soon as I turned 25 I said, “Daddy? What big Hollywood movie should I have one of your friends put me in?” Luckily, my dad just took a huge bong rip and fell asleep so I became a movie blogger.


A mysterious coma is one where you wake up you’re dressed like Sherlock Holmes.
True story: The Mighty Feklahr spent His “quarter-life crisis” in a mental hospital.
…
Point being, many of your misgivings about Him are true.
I’m really excited to not see The Big Chill again.
Quarter-Life is a game where Gordon Freeman beats up small woodland creatures with a crowbar because there’s no real danger.
“Quarter-life crisis”???
Oh don’t worry kids, it only gets WAY easier once you’re past 25.
“Originals” is an ensemble film about a group of twentysomethings who reconvene for a weekend in New York after learning that the teacher who shaped their childhoods has fallen into a mysterious coma.
The Mighty One supposes we can hope that the coma is caused by a monster that looks like a clown and lives underground, wouldn’t that be profound? See you around!
All they’re missing is for their half-brother Terrence to do the soundtrack.
I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling, we all know she’s got that Opie pattern baldness under her wig.
If you were to present me with the name Bryce Dallas Howard, my first reaction would be “what about him?”
I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling, we all know she’s got that Opie pattern baldness under her wig.
Furthermore, she is to blond what Opie is to urine samples. That bitch is red on the head like a dick on a dog.
THAT’S RIGHT! HE SNUCK “OPIE PEE” IN THERE!
In related news, I worked on Bryce’s grandmother last night.
She’s got The Village and Spider Man 3. What a hack. I was in my school’s production of Othello and sometimes I yell at hobos outside of bars in front of large crowds. Advantage: Me.
This sounds like some weird kind of pre funeral Big Chill.
Fek: The clown turd says we all float down here in the Opie Pee..
I”m tired that’s all I got.
Who the hell names their daughter “Bryce”? It’s not as bad as naming your son oh, say, “Ashley”, but it’s still begging for a lifetime of ridicule.
It’s as silly as naming a Canadian hermaphrodite after a Chinese ornamental stone.
“Chinese Ornamental” is the daughter Oliver Stone doesn’t like to talk about.
She’s no Allison Eastwood, I’ll tell ya that.
New up, sweetest mullet in the WORLD.