Kurt Wimmer, the writer of the upcoming Salt as well as the 2002 Christian Bale film Equilibrium, which introduced the world to “gun kata” (see above), has been announced as the writer for the upcoming Total Recall remake. Neal H. Moritz is developing and producing the remake through his “Original Films” banner, which is so ironic I want to stab a baby.
The original, based on the Philip K. Dick story “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale,” follows a man haunted by a recurring dream of journeying to Mars who buys a literal dream vacation from a company called Rekall Inc., which sells implanted memories. The man comes to believe he is a secret agent and ends up on a Martian colony, where he fights to overthrow a despotic ruler controlling the production of air. The studio is keeping mum on the new take, simply calling a “contemporized adaptation.” [HollywoodReporter]
And we all know what that means: CGI and sunglasses, homey. You’d have to be a Philip K. Dicklicker to think this is a good idea. (*dodges tomato*)
Wimmer says his draft will be ready in “twwwoooooo weeeeeeks….”
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Gun Kata and Total Recall, eh?
I’ve always been a fan of semi-quatomatics.
Was the Gymkata guy not available?
LET THREE BOOBIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THREE BOOBIES HIT THE FLOOR!
How are they gonna top the original, a chick with four tits?
I found out one hump too late that there was a total recall on that box of Mr. Bonko’s Happy Happy Fun Time Cock Balloons brand condoms I bought online.
It’s your goddam turn to change to poopy diaper bitch!!
I think its terrible that they didn’t give Billy Blanks’ draft more consideration it would of had all sorta of KICK! Punch! KICK! ASS! in it.
Whenever I take a huge noisy dump, I call it a Quato.
If my name was “Philip Dick” I’d change my middle name to “On”.
Ironically, babystabbing is also unoriginal. Plus, Belgian.
“Total Recall” could also be called The Karen Carpenter After-Breakfast Story.
Hasn’t anyone written any new books in the past 20 or 30 years? Surely there’s something new out there other than fucking Twilight.
Mike Myers and Verne Troyer have expressed interest in the Quato role.
Iron Butterfly introduced the world to Gun Kata da Vida, baby.
When I fart, I like to yell “GEEV DEM AIEEAHR!”
I thought Philip Dick is when you drew an + on the end of your dick before you screwed something.
When Andy announced he had become a Republican, Arnold said, “Welcome to the party, Richter.”
And I just totally fucked that line, but I don’t care because… IT’S VOLCANO TACO DAY!!!
Larry the Cable Guy stars as Douglas Quaid in “Git Yer Ass Ta Mars!”
I asked a Chinaman at the TV store if I put something on lay away at a sale price if it stayed that way. He said, “We can remember it for you wholesale.” I stuck my finger in his face, told him to “Learn the fucking language slopey boy!” Then thanked him and bid him good day.
Somebody wake me when they remake Space Camp.
Crappy, we clearly shared the exact childhood in front of the television.
Word Stone. Word.
Hou Up!
Equilibrium did not introduce the world to “gun Kata”. See the Japanese movie “Versus” from the year 2000. Much better then that Equilibrium bullshit