06.16.09 GREEN LANTERN WILL BE ‘LOVING, RESPECTFUL’
We’ve already established that Green Lantern is a pretty gay idea for a movie, considering his origin is that an alien comes to Earth, finds a young man who is “without fear,” and gives him a power ring. That’s a metaphor for priest molestation if I’ve ever heard one. Nonetheless, the movie is happening. SciFi Wire recently talked to screenwriter (for now) Marc Guggenheim, who says no one has been cast yet. He doesn’t reveal much, but promises to take “a very loving and respectful approach.”
To me that sounds a lot like a tacit admission that (as once rumored) Ryan Gosling will be playing the lead. In honor of this story, here are other facts you may not know about Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern:
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern loves to hold hands, but saves interlocking fingers for his special lady.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern prefers yellow mustard to brown – too spicy!
- Among his hobbies, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern lists “gettin’ crazy with the swivel chair.”
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern picks wildflowers for the widow down the street, because gifts mean more without a special occasion.
- Favorite color: periwinkle. Favorite word too!
- Just white bread for him, thanks.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern once jumped in a puddle on a dare.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern commutes to Wal-Mart to buy censored CDs.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern holds the ropes when the neighborhood girls play double dutch, and even invented some new chants. They all end in ‘best friends forever.’
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern won’t kill that spider for you, but he’ll capture it and set it free.
- Between meals, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern entertains the soup kitchen crowd on the harmonica.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks your new tattoo makes you look dangerous. In a good way.
- When he’s feeling adventurous, Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern puts his straw through the bottom of the Capri Sun and drinks it upside down.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern doesn’t trade lunches, but he’s happy to share.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern loves cinnamon.
- Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern Swiffers when stressed.
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There are 63 comments about:
GREEN LANTERN WILL BE ‘LOVING, RESPECTFUL’
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern dots his i’s and j’s with hearts.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wishes puppies would never grow up.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern could manipulate objects that are yellow, but the color just gets him all frazzled.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks Mother’s Day should be everyday.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern says you better tie your shoe before you fall.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern got everyone in his class a valentine.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern only fights crime after asking it nicely to stop three times.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wants to wear matching friendship bracelets with you.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern would love to make s’mores but not without adult supervision.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wants to save you from drowning but he just ate and has to wait 30 minutes before swimming.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern says “Saftey first. Hugs second”.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern, er, who in the name of fuck wants to see a fucking Green Lantern movie? Who is this being made for? I WANT THE MAN WHO KNOWS!
/Goes back to searching for a Hall & Oates video not shot on the black walled set.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks if you don’t have gum for the rest of us you should wait until later to chew it.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern will not put the car into ‘D’ unless everyone has their seatbelt on.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thought “The Hangover” was inappropriate.
Ryan Gosling’s Gren Lantern thought that Twilight should’ve been rated more conservitavely by the MPAA to protect the children.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wears loose clothing over his tights so you can’t see his “devil parts”.
“an alien comes to Earth, finds a young man who is “without fear,” and gives him a power ring.”
Ryan Gosling? No way. This has Tom Cruise written all over it. (in L. Ron Hubbard’s semen)
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern would love another Zima, but with a strawberry Jolly Rancher in it instead of Sour Apple.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern doesn’t have any enemies because he loves everyone equally.
Kirk Cameron feels uncomfortable around Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern but Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern still tries to help him feel included.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wears faux leather boots cause killing cows in wrong and inhumane.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern is not comfortable with my screen name.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern uses his ring to scan radio stations for songs by The Osmonds.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern was just trying to clean that puppy, he didn’t mean to flush him. I’M SORRY PATCHES!!!
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks you kids should cut out all the horseplay around the pool before somebody gets hurt.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern got that ring from an alien, not a Chinaman he met at the back of the train, thank you very much!
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern wears a mask on his face and a heart on his sleeve.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern was a volunteer hall monitor in middle school.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern likes to call it Kraft Services because dang it if their mac n cheese isn’t the cheesiest!
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks that little people are “neato”!
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern smells that stinker you made but won’t tell anyone.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern will be solar powered and have zero carbon emissions.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern agrees with the war on drugs, but he prefers to call it a struggle, because “war” just sounds so icky to him.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern has a sign above his toilet that reads: “If you sprinkle when you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat”
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks that Clippy from Microsoft Word is hiiiilarious.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern cries whenever he sees a kitten cuz they’re just so darned cute.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern always carries around something red with him to make himself feel better if he needs it; he says it’s because red is a complimentary color and we all need compliments from time to time.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern doesn’t swim in your toilet, so don’t pee in his pool.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern yells “jolly hippopotomus!” when he gets angry.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern enjoys endless breadsticks at The Olive Garden.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern uses turn signals and hand signals when he drives.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern calls cinnamon sugar, “heavenly dust”.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern chose green instead of red because it’s a soothing color.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern looks around and whispers when he says negro.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern is depressed because he wasn’t able to save the box of yellow lab puppies from drowning.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern thinks the Jonas brothers are a “dandy talented lot.”
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern would very much appreciate it if you would pick up that banana peel. Someone could slip on it!
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern just wants you to know that his weakness is the color yellow. There, now you can have a fair fight.
Ryan Gosling’s Green Lantern is confused by the tingly feelings he gets from looking at the Snorg Tees girls.
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