G.I. JOE LOOKS HILARIOUS
06.22.09I’ve already posted a bunch of TV Spots and trailers for Stephen Sommers’ epically ill-advised G.I. Joe movie, and this new one’s only slightly different. That’s why I’ve helpfully set the video to skip the foreplay and start at the most hilarious part! Get it? Marlon Wayans fell down! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Who says you can’t have laughs in an action movie?
I was also sitting here trying to figure out what song was playing during the next scene, because even though whatever it was had been thoroughly Linkin Park-ified it, the riff sounded strangely familiar. Then I realized: it’s “Crazy Train.” Because they crazily jump through a train, you see. I hope whoever came up with that one was rewarded with a red ball or a herring.
UPDATE: Commenter Bradyohnine correctly points out that the song is “Undead” by Hollywood Undead. But the riff in that song is still the opening riff from “Crazy Train.” I can demonstrate on guitar for you if you’d li– Hey! Where’s everyone going?

Ozzy Osbourne just rolled over in his grave, then got up for tea and scones.
I would see this movie only if Marlon Wayans’ head was CGI’d on a midget like in Little Man.
That’s why I’ve helpfully set the video to skip the foreplay and start at the most hilarious part!
You’ve been talking to my wife again, haven’t you?
a black guy fell over… oh crap hollywood, here comes the NAACP
i mean because racism is wrong…
The Mighty Feklahr forshaks you not, with a budget of $20 and His collection of GI Joe action figures, He could make a really great fucking hentai.
The song is Hollywood Undead with their cleverly named song “Undead”. Its a terrible song. Possibly worse then a linkin park re-tooling of Crazy Train.
A man in a uniform always makes my cobra rise!
(Hey, pretending to be gay always works for Pauly. He is only pretending right?)
Will the new action figures be just as good at not satisfying my sister’s Barbies as the old ones?
I’M RAILING LINES OF COKE OFF A DUDE’S MAIN VEIN!
*guitar solo*
Even if “The Rise of the Cobra” looks terrible, it at least supplied me with a name for my home movies.
See
Let the Wayans hit the floor, let the Wayans hit the floor, let the Wayans hit the FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!
It could have been worse, they could have been playing Quad City DJs’ “C’mon ‘N Ride It (The Train)”
Oddly enough, that train was the 7:30 to Clarksville. There were no more scheduled departures for that destination for the day either.
It could have been ten times worse if you saw this and remembered who Quad City DJ is.
*ducks from Donk’s “vintage” CD collection thrown at head*
It’s even worse when you do remember Quad City Dj’s and that fuckin song stuck on your head.
Thanks a lot Donk
Fuck you, MiZ. That song was catchy.
*continues playing Bananarama on Zune*
fek, you’d also need one of those stretchy, gooey, sticky arms from the 25 cent machines at your local supermarket…you know, to sexually assault the girl gi joes.
I just laid a bowl cobra better than this movie.
I hope Channing Tatum says “It seems like I’ve been fighting for justice, wherever there’s trouble all my life” in this movie