FRED DURST DURSTED MICHAEL JACKSON
06.26.09
It’s great that Fred Durst became a movie director. Not because his movies are any good or because I’ve seen any of them, but because now I can make fun of him and it’s movie related. As you might imagine, Durst recently took to Twitter to express his sadness at the passing of Michael Jackson, and he did it as only Fred Durst can:
“On this tour I have been paying tribute to MJ by wearing his beat it jacket and rhinestone glove. The irony and timing is shocking. I am very sad. He was truly brilliant and the reason why I love to dance.”
I don’t know about you, but I imagined him covered in sweat, doing the Roger Rabbit at his cousin’s Bar Mitzvah when he sent that. But wait, there’s more!
“There are only four phenomenons [sic] to truly impact our lives in popular music- Frank Sinatra, Elvis, The Beatles, and Michael Jackson. They will all live forever within me.”
Hmm, I’m not sure whether to make fun of him for having seven guys inside him or because he thinks he’s going to live forever. Maybe he’s a gay vampire. Later on, Durst answered a question about whether he and Michael Jackson had ever met:
“I did. Twice. Spent several hrs hanging and talking. Another time went to ceasars palace w him, my friend Ron, and Chris Tucker to virgin megastore [so was it Caesar's Palace or Virgin Megastore? Jeez you're an idiot. -Ed.]. It was madness. Great memories.”
Are Fred Durst and Brett Ratner the same person? I don’t think I’ve ever seen them in the same place at the same time. “It’s a sad day. He was just really a source of influential to me when I was writing ‘Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-Dog Flavored Water.’”
[and don't forget to vote for #5, the only Fred-Durst-related definition of Durst on UrbanDictionary. Thanks to Jacktion! for that]



Actually, kid-fucking would be a plus on Fred’s resume.
Chocolate Starfish and the Hot-Dog Flavored Water
That has to be a euphemism for cumming inside a shitty asshole…..
I hear that if you give Michael Jackson a Pepsi. He does a mean Ghost Rider impression.
Michael Bolton thinks Fred Durst is a no-talent ass clown.
They were going to release the video footage of that Ceasar’s palace trip as a documentary but it got tangled up in copyright court over the title. “Freddy Got Fingered”. Heh, yeah, it was years ago.
What he meant to say was him and Chris Tucker went to the Virgin Megastore and bought a Michael Jackson cd
I really hope Fred starts dedicating performances to MJ now. For whatever reason, I find this scenario hilarious: “Alright everyone, this is in memory of Michael Jackson… I DID IT ALL FOR THE NOOKIE, COME ON, THE NOOKIE…”
1 out of 1 people currently stealing internet from a medical office parking lot agree – Number 5 is the only definition.
I wouldn’t let Fred Durst wash my windshield.
Yet he keeps begging me every time I’m stop and an intersection.
I heard Michael Jackson died of food poisoning. He ate a 12 year old wiener.
(I just got here, has that joke been done yet?)
Why doesn’t Fred ever talk about meeting Victoria Jackson, repenting his sins, finding God, and then forgetting what the fuck was going on, getting her drunk, and banging her?
shoes in the bathroom? what a n00b
Yes.
Fuck
King of Pop?
More Like Ring of Poop! LOLZ!!1!
Peacock feathers in the bathroom?
I guess if you’ve sucked as much dick as he has, you’d pee cocks too.
I look at that banner pic and think to myself, “Self, that is a real person.” And myself answers, “Fuck off dude, you’re high. Fo-to-shop!”
Michael Jackson dying wish was to donate his organ to a 9yr old.
QAH PLAH!!
http://engrishfunny.com/2009/06/25/engrish-i-swallow/#comments
Tour? So opening up for Styx at the local Indian gaming casino actually counts as a tour now? I’m headed to Rite Aid, Wendy’s and the post office… am I on tour?
Q: How does Michael Jackson keep his youth?
A: Pizza and Nintendo.
I just heard that Pepsi will be sponsoring the eternal flame for Michael Jackson’s grave.