DAILY CIRCLE JERK: BEAR TAXI EDITION
06.11.09
Check out these links or don’t!
- Coming this fall… BIG RED TEXT. |CollegeHumor|
- The Last Supper, Big Lebowski style. |NextRound|
- Part Five of the world’s most disturbing animals, including the ‘hatchet fish,’ which until now I thought was just a good nickname for your mom’s vagina. |Atom|
- Beards are likely a result of ‘spousal compromise.’ Duh. Oh wait, I think he means like actual facial hair beards. |Asylum|
- As further evidenced by this local commercial, at some point in the last few years, middle-aged people jumped on the ‘acting black is funny’ bandwagon. It’s really not. |HolyTaco|
- The Top 5 ‘Caught Masturbating’ scenes. In movies, not like, in life, |ScreenJunkies|
- A parody of Apple’s Steve Jobs. It’s not as dorky as it sounds. |G4|
- The A Cappella Version of “I’m on a Boat,” from some kids at UC Santa Cruz. Aw, UC Santa Cruz, they’re probably really high. (the girl three from the right has really bouncy boobs) |SmokingSection|
- Kobe’s top ten plays of 2009. He’s best play of all time is still the getting-acquitted-of-rape-and-not-getting-divorced move he pulled a couple years ago. |HoopDoctors|
- Somebody’sDaughter.org will convince you not to watch porn with this horrible song. You’ve convinced my brain, by my penis refuses to listen to reason. I rename you cockblockers.dork. |BlogOfHilarity|
- Put a personal touch on your musical muffs. I admit it, I only picked this one because it said ‘muff’. |BachelorGuy|
- Guhh, someone needs to stop this hot-chicks-dressing-like-grandmas trend. Girls only tell pretty girls they look cute like this because they’ve removed a rival. Also, pink/red/white/orange/yellow/neon sunglasses should spray ink on people like stolen bank money to teach people that they look effing stupid. |DailyFill|

Hatchet fish? Right! Next you’re gonna tell me that there really is a species of bivalve out there with facial hair.
That somebodysdaughter.org video is going to backfire when they realize how many horny misanthropes are getting off more on the fact that they know they’re hurting somebody’s father by jerking off to a naked girl.
I blame Robert Downey Jr. for people jumping on the acting black is funny bandwagon.
somebodysmother.org will have their follow-up out soon, MILFhunters beware.
I guess somebodysmother.org could also work against people who like to get off on putting pillows over sleeping people’s faces…
But the most disturbing animal on Earth… IS MAN! (dun dun dunnnnnnnnn)
I dunno dude, what about that fish in the Amazon that’ll swim up your pee hole and stick itself in there with spines?
Oh yeah, forgot about that little fucker. Still, the second-most disturbing animal on Earth…IS MAN! (dun dun dunnnnnnnnn)
Even more disturbing than the wasp that zombifies cockroaches and lays their eggs inside them so the larva can eat the zombified cockroach alive?
Dude, you’re a fucking buzzkill right now.
That’s funny, Bear Taxi also starred Tony Danza.
Hey asshole, where’s Dwight Howard’s Top 10 plays of 2009? Sure they’re all two-handed dunks, but let’s show a little equality here.
How about Dwight Howard’s top 10 examples of not stepping up in the last 3 minutes of important NBA Finals games?
BOOSH!
Who do you think will look back on their college days with more regret: these dorks in a cappella groups, or drunk co-eds in those ‘Girls Gone Wild’ videos? Either group is gonna be mortified explaining their performances to their kids in 15 years.
God I hope the girls I’m masturbating to are all somebody’s daughter. It’s way creepier to think that they were all grown in a lab.