06.08.09 WISCONSIN HAS A CHUBBY
Deadspin recently made an amazing discovery: 310-pound Wisconsin-Milwaukee forward James “Big Lumber” Eayrs bears an uncanny resemblance to Mark “Chubby” Holton from Teen Wolf. And by “uncanny”, I mean they’re both fat and white and play basketball in black and gold #55 jerseys (the fat guy always has to wear #55). I imagine there are a lot of guys that look like Chubby in Wisconsin. Eayrs still has one year left of eligibility, and if movies have taught me anything, all the team needs now is a werewolf with Parkinson’s. That’s gonna be a fun recruiting trip.
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/06/teenwolf-150x150.jpg)
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WISCONSIN HAS A CHUBBY
Eayrs also once stole his neighbor’s custom bicycle.
Sergei Gonchar and Niklas Kronwall would like to kindly disagree with you, sir.
They should call the sequel Teen Wolf 2: Shake, Rattle & Roar.
Yeah yeah, put him in a highway patrol uniform and we’re all making jokes about car Ramrod instead.
So would Jovanovski. Though I doubt any of those guys would disagree “kindly”.
55 is the number of burgers he orders at White Castle.
55 is the age he’ll die at, after his 4th heart attack.
55 is the speed he can’t drive, because his car can’t carry his fat ass that quickly.
55 was his birth weight.
I know a Phoenix basketball player who looks just like Shazam.
Teen Wolf always gives Him a “Chubby”.
AND….Paul Gasol looks like Teen Wolf himself…its all coming together.
If they’re going to try to get somebody who looks like Teen Wolf, I suggest the start recruiting heavily in South Texas.
…or the Pacific Northwest, according to Stephenie Meyer.
…or women from Greece.
Eayrs for threeee….. BOOF!
GET. HIM. A KEG. OF GRAVY!
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