06.30.09 ALVIN 2 TRAILER IS WANK MATERIAL FOR FURRIES
Fox, the only movie studio run by and for seals, recently released a new teaser trailer for Alvin & the Chipmunks 2, which I-kid-you-not is actually called Alvin & the Chipmunks: the Squeakuel. It’s the kinda title that’s really cute if you’re a soccer mom sh*tfaced on Valium. Anyway, you can tell this isn’t your crusty old grandmammy’s Alvin & the Chipmunks because these Alvin & the Chipmunks don’t just harmonize, they beatbox. The plot of this one is that the chipmunks show up to school (uh… chipmunk school?) and instantly meet some female chipmunks and fall in love (”Psst, hey, Simon, get a load of these squanks”). It isn’t quite as strange as the infamous poop-eating teaser from the first movie, but it is a little creepy to see rodents making eyes at each other accompanied by slow jams. It’d definitely go in the spank bank if I was a furry. Ha, just kidding, I’ve pleasured myself to it three times already.
Also - you can tell they’ve met their soul mates because the female chipmunks (the chipettes) look exactly like their male counterparts. A girl with glasses for Simon, a cool one for Alvin, etc. It’s just like when I play wingman for my plump friends. “Hey, Fatty, check out that fatty over there - she looks perfect for a fatty like you,” I tell them. “Mmm, she looks hungry. What’re you waitin for? Go talk to her, wide load. Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone steal your sandwich.”
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/jeffbridges-crazyheart-blak-150x150.jpg)
There are 50 comments about:
ALVIN 2 TRAILER IS WANK MATERIAL FOR FURRIES
My chipette would look like three bucketfulls of awesome carved out of horse shit.
What, no break dancing?
So, do they call it chipspunk?
My chipette would look like three bucketfulls of awesome carved out of horse shit.
Mom?
It’s this shit that’s making so many kids autistic.
“Mmm, she looks hungry. What’re you waitin for? Go talk to her, wide load. Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone steal your sandwich.”
You have yet to explain to Him just WHERE that sandwich went!
*pulls out hay straw from between front teeth, barfs semen into spittoon*
The only time a chipmunk gets even remotely close to my cock, is when I’m wearing one as a condom so that I can safely fuck one of those buffalo over there.
No mention in the trailer of the scene when the chipmunks get blasted on Mad Dog 20/20 and gang fuck the girls in a deserted barn?
I bet Theodore’s girlfriend is like going down on a skunk.
Alvin’s girlfriend looks more like a beaver to me.
Tagline: There’s just squirrels trying to bust a nust.
The Chipmunk High Vermin girl’s field hockey team is kick ass this year. No lie.
Well, that’s just an insult to seals. They’re smarter than that. They can balance stuff on their noses and play horns!
Turns out I’m still a Foreigner eight-track and a Greek fry cook short of being a furry.
Yiff in fur, hellfags.
At least they got the fashion right. High school girls actually do wear skirts that allow you to see their vaginas when they’re standing up.
When these little assholes start doing a capella covers of Boyz 2 Men songs, I’m gonna git ma gun n settle up dem Fox flim flammers!
Richard Gere can’t believe he’s 0-for-2 on these movies.
Fucking typical junior high bitches: teeth draggers.
Having a PTSD freak out, Les Stroud busted out of a locker, stunned one of these little turd munchers with a truncheon made of his own shit, and cooked alive with a Bic lighter.
You know what Alvin’s “A” on his shirt stand for, right?
“Am about to fuck your girlfriend”
I’m so jealous of the chipmunks. If I wanted to fuck a girl that looked exactly like me, I’d have to get my sister really fucking drunk.
donkey, for the longest time, i thought your avatar was a black guy with a long neck and dreadlocks, no foolin’
HAHA Squeakuel, I love you Patches.
underda, you should probably go ahead and decline a rorschach test if your shrink recommends it.
Funny derdan I thought yours was a poster for a piece of shit Billy Crystal vehicle.
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