(“I’ll f*ck you till you love me, faggot.”)

Herro, peopres!  Dees da traira fo Japanee feelm The Air Doll.  Whoa, why was I typing like that?  Here’s the synopsis from its Cannes screening (via Twitch):

Hideo, who lives alone, owns a life-size “air doll”, which suddenly finds herself with a heart. Everything is new to her in the world outside Hideo’s house. She meets all kinds of people. The world is filled with so many beautiful things, but everyone seems to have some kind of hollowness, just as she has [metaphor!!]. In the morning, she pumps herself up, and takes a walk.

One afternoon, she meets Junichi who works at a rental video store, and instantly falls in love with him. A first date. New words she learns from him. She starts working with him at the store, enjoys talking and being with him. Everything seems to be going perfect, until something unexpected happens to the doll.

I’ve heard that in Japan, stealing another man’s sex doll is punishable by octopus. True story.  Anyway, you may notice that this looks much like Lars and the Real Girl, only more sexual.  That’s because Ryan Gosling likes to get to know his sex dolls on a platonic level first, because relationships are always better if they’re based on friendship and physical attraction.  Haha, I love you, sex doll.