05.26.09 ZACH G. TAKES BRAD C. BETWEEN THE FERNS

Sexman wanted to grow a milk mustache but his mom said she was too tired.

I hear that Protest the Hero were looking to add Zach as a second guitarist based on his beard alone.

Vinnie, don’t let anybody ever tell you that you’re lazy. Let me tell you. Next time you’re the top.

Is this where the red fern grows?

If by “ferns” you mean hiresuite manly hard as oak ass cheeks, then ya, the title explains my wood.

That’s not a mustache on Sexman. His braces attract metal filings like one of those Woolly Willy boards.

Sexman was preparing for a career as a hockey-watching, maple syrup-guzzling slack-ass who hangs out in FilmDrunk all day, but unfortunately that position has already been filled.

^ +(points to crotch)

Crappy, what’s the first part of the hotmail addy you sent something to? If I can remember the password, I’ll respond.

That’ll be $3.74.

“Moose” is the only flavor of Jolly Ranchers they have in Canada.

Bill-Ka… Sokay, got your #, I’ll send you msg in a few with my work email, just hit that back with an email from a good adress.

Er, I mean…
That’s not a mustache, that’s the leftovers of a ding-dong.

NO! The snack you pervert!

…animals…

Ferns are awesome, though creepy, not their fault though. If you name something Maidenhead Spleenwort you’ve set it down the “three first names” path fo shizzle.

Carrot Top text to his mexican plastic surgeon:

“Do you think you could make me look more like a fucking rapist?”

Somebody tell Zach to give Billy Mays his beard back.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

I prefer All Up in Them Guts with Your Mom.

The best part of Sexman’s review was when he said “No one gives a SHIT!” a little too loud and he had to pause to make sure his mom didn’t come barging in to clean his filthy mouth with an S.O.S. pad.

Yo åüPłÿ, destroyed one and a half handles of 7 and a fifth of Jameson’s this weekend. w00t!

That’s not entirely true. We also have beaver flavoured Jolly Ranchers up here.

Ol’ Fekky and Johnnie Walker had it going on til da brink of dawn.

FYI, He did not get His combat log recorded, but will post an amusing screenshot (hopefully) tonight.

HOLY FUCK LINCE COTW ASAP! Sheena is the new winner!

Sheena, baby, you look good to go with a little Funky Cold Medina.

Carrot Top doesn’t seem to be on TV as much any more. Maybe he ought to be more like Sexman…

Carrot Sexman?

Carrot Top, Sexman, moose, ferns?! This post has everything, Yo!

Holy fuck! Who is that rabbit eared devil?

Haha. I hate that song…

Crap,
Friday: 5th of Ketel One with a half bottle of Knob Creek.
Staurday: Finished the Knob Creek and a 5th of Gentlemen Jack.
Sunday: 1.75 liter bottle of Gentlemen Jack and 2 12 packs of XX Amber.
Monday: Water and weed.

My weekend was like one long day. “Fratunday” if you will….

My fav Canadian Jollys are Labatts and Dirty Hockey Pad.

Well played sir. I had way to much driving time to genuinely get at it, but I made up with bouts of furious effort.

It’s funny how every american name Labatt as the best thing about Canada while no Canadian above 16 would ever drink this queef juice.

I just remember little stuff like throwing flips off a roof into a pool, Machida making Evans look like a marionette that just his strings cut, the casino aaaaaand that’s all for now.

I feel the same should be true about Budweiser W. Bro, but…

Let’s not forget that Canadia has Chocolate Smarties…

You were throwing Filipinos into a pool? Good thing they are an island people and swim good.

GET THOSE SMARTIES THE FUCK OUT MY VEHICLE PRIVATE!!!!

Let’s not forget that Canadia has Chocolate Smarties…

Yeah, well we have Chocolate Dum-dums. Ie. the Wayansi.

Dammit, J, back me up on the Wayanseses thing!

Shit. I meant we have the Wayanseses.

*throws up the midwest 3 gang sign*

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