Okay fine, I guess I’ll post the Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus trailer, even though we both know it’s going straight to DVD and none of you are going to see it. The best part of this movie is either the screencap above, or the mere idea that someone blew a couple mil financing a movie starring Lorenzo Lamas and Debbie Gibson opposite horribly CGI’d monsters. What I’m trying to say that is if you know the title, what’s in your mind is going to be a lot better than what you actually see in this trailer. This would’ve been better if it’d been Japanese, and the shark had been played by a vagina. Or if instead of Lorenzo Lamas it had Lorenzo Llama.
[via FSR]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/06/lorenzo-llama-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/03/megasharkvsgiantoctopus-150x150.jpg)
My main question is, if this is about a shark and an octopus, why the fuck would either of them take the fight out of the water?
DOES IT INVOLVE FISH?!?!?!?
That trailer is a That’s What She Said overload on Gibson’s face.
They’re gonna need a bigger bridge.
Mega Shark > Sexman > Giant Octopus
My main question is, if this is about a shark and an octopus, why the fuck would either of them take the fight out of the water?
You ever try to fight under water? It’s virtually impossible to land a punch.
Vincent Bugliosi
vs.
Nadya Suleman
I’ve waited 20 years to see a Debbie Gibson/Tentacle video.
Tell me honestly, who doesn’t want to see Chodin review this?
The Giant Octopus is vying for it’s own reality show.
Well, it looks like this movie isn’t that prophetic at all. Now Mega Indian versus Giant Octopus… That’s an idea I can get behind.
“Well, here I am ready to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Goodbye cruel worl… wait, what am I doing? I want to live! I WANT TO LIVE, DAMMIT – hey, what is that – a mega sharCHOMP OM NOM NOM NOM“
Debbie Gibson should have just done the soft core porn she was offered. Have some dignity bitch, sheesh.
For whatever it’s worth, both the Mega Shark and Giant Octopus are eighteen times more believable than Lorenzo Lamas.
“You better bring all of your firepower, these two are armed to the teeth.”
‘Debbie Gibson’ is the $400 answer under the Jeopardy category “Things that my dad used to try and get me to masturbate to”, barely losing to “Mom” for $500.
Ok. I really, really, don’t want to get picky about technical things considering the source, but how deep do they think the S.F. Bay is?
Theme song: “I’m a shark!!! I’m a SHAAAARK! Suck my diiiiick!! I’M A SHAAAARK!!”
Debbie Gibson appears on the Donk & J Show (featuring C-Dog) shilling her new film.
Donk: So, is this part a of career rejuvination, Debbs?
Debbs: Well Donk, don’t call it a come back. (Fake laugh)
DONK/J/C-Dog all together: We won’t! (fart noise/breaking glass/scream)
J: And now a word from our sponsor, Gold Bond Triple Medicated ointment! Shmegma flegma! I got Gold Bond.
C-Dog: Gold Bond, great for your bitch hole!
Soundtrack provided by Great White. Everyone’s going to be shouting ‘fire’ in the crowded theater!
When Mega Shark says he’s “stuck on the bridge”, he’s really stuck on the bridge.
Shark: “I’m just lookin’ for the bridge.”
Octopus: “Where’s that confounded bridge?”
I normally only see Mega Sharks in my toilet.
So this is about a big shark and that crazy bitch with the eight kids and her worn out pussy? Who’d watch that?
Let’s not have another turgid discussion about categorical imperatives.
“HOLY…” What? Why did they stop the trailer there? Now I have to see this movie.
I think I’ll be a Renegade and just buy this Out of the Blue when it hits the bargain bin.
I thought this was the name of the Octomom’s sextape.
Samuel L. Jackson turned down an offer to appear in this film. Why? Not enough monkey fighting.
Something, something, mega shart, something giant pussy, something.
Wentworth G. Squidbottom gives this eight out of tentacles.
Debbie Gibson just looks like she’d fuck a dude who had a ponytail.
Like octopus arms: This. Will. Suck.
Why the hell is Mega Shark attacking Sexman’s braces?
Mega White Sharks eat bridges like this…
If the 80′s taught me anything, it’s that sharks are only cool if they’re wearing sunglasses.
Commander: “Sir, we’ve got a Mega Shark and a Giant Octopus on the radar!”
Lorenzo Lamas: “FUCK THAT! Look at the Racist Asian about to eat them both!”
In the American version the Mega Shark will win but in the Japanese version the Giant Octopus will rape some schoolgirls.
I FUCKING LOVE OCTOPUS CEVICHE!
Both Mega Shark and Giant Octopus quickly retreated when Zhang Ziyi showed up with a pair of chopsticks and a tube of wasabi.
I’m just waiting for the GigaFonz to jump them both.
Old Mega Shark saying:”You’ll eat that bridge when you come to it.”
Antonio Alfonseca gives this film his full endorsal.
Boy: “Look, I don’t want us to be virgins when the Mega Shark and Giant Octopus eat us.”
Girl: “Troy, we live in Idaho.”
Boy: “Then what’s that smell?”
The Polynesians have experience fighting giant octopi. What they should do is Call-a-maori.
[shoots self into corner with canon.
If that shark needed a bridge, he should’ve just gone to the dentist like everyone else.
Giant Octopus wins when a
Dolph Lundgrendolphin swims by and scares away the shark.GRRR…IT WAS ON MYTHBUSTERS!!!
When somebody is trying to cheer a loser like you up by saying “there’s plenty of fish in the sea”, this is what they’re talking about.
I was awaiting the blurred genitals.
This movie is going to make millions just to spite Lince.
Yes, the entire canon of Western literature. [sigh]
“I’m tired of these bridge biting sharks, on this Monday to Friday rented plane set!”
Llamas can’t swim, silly! LOL!
Giant Octopus is impervious to lighting changes and cell shading
Ooh, 50+ comments and as real as it may seem not one “only in my dreams” reference. Gibbo’s still got it. Not to be outdone, Tiffany is starring in Big Tarantula versus Enormous Iguana. No CGI either. We’re talking 1 Million Years BC style reality.
Dr. Matt Hooper, reviewing the damage to the bridge exclaimed “This was not a boating accident!”
Not to be not to be outdone, Toni Basil and Cyndi Lauper are starring in Huge Animated Mouse vs Cheer Bear.
Why the hell is mega shark attacking Lisa Rinna’s dental dam?
That pic sure is a suspention bridge of disbelief.
Mega shark is chomping on the bridge because he’s out of floss, has a bit of the Hawaiian islands stuck in his teeth and it’s driving him craaayyyzeeee!!
*taps Crap on the shoulder*
New Up
I’ve been in here with you…assholes left us here.
Nice to know somebody cares.
*unhooks bra, pulls through sleeve*
Can SHARKS ON A PLANE be far behind? I hope not.
Special appearance by Bethany Hamilton as Quint.
I found myself waiting for Samuel L. Jackson to make an appearance, shouting “I’m sick of all these mother fucking sharks eating these mother fucking planes!”