OBEY THE GREENWOOD
Opening this weekend:
Star Trek – I doubt it’ll be high art, but it does look like solid entertainment, and the reviews seem to corroborate this theory. I predict it does $65 mil. By the way, did your review include a “set phasers to ___” joke? Party foul, chug the rest of your beer, toolbag.
Next Day Air – A comic, screwball hijink-fest starring the black dude from Scrubs. Should’ve called it Next Day DVD. Get it? That’s a burn. (limited release)
Love N’ Dancing – Look, if you can’t even be bothered to type out “and” in the title, don’t think for a second I’m going to bother with a synopsis for your movie. (limited release)
Little Ashes - The dude from Twilight plays Salvador Dali, and apparently spends the whole movie giving mustache rides. (limited release)
Rudo y Cursi – Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna (the boys from Y Tu Mama Tambien) play soccer stars in a film that sounds like Spanish for how I act after a few cocktails. (limited release)
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My phaser is always set to spooge.
Don’t forget about your mom’s leg opening this weekend too (zing!) Guess how she sounds after a few cock tales?
Instead of going to the movies this weekend, I think I’ll just give my dick the Bohemian Death Grip. A few times.
Mike Tyson will see Star Trek tomorrow and feel it coming in the Next Day Air tonight.
/Next Day Hair? Something something walk of shame.
That’s no fair, the spanish only have to use one letter to spell out the whole word “and”.
“Little Ashes” is what Joaquin Phoenix hopes to be elbow-deep in this weekend.
I think the black guy from ‘Clueless’ has earned more than being called the black guy from Scrubs.
Robert Pattishon wishesh Twilight fansh had “Little Ashes”.
Megan Fox says she only bones dudes over 30?
<—- Just made 33, bitches! Holla!
* I know I already posted it in the last thread but fuck yeah anyway!
FD Week in review:
Love N’ Dancing, Love N’ Dancing
Go together like a forced romancing
Rape your Brazilian brother
While Shia goes down on his…mother!
Erswi, in a world without punctuation, that claim sounds a lot better.
i know huh
Ha! I have three more years experience
jerking it to laminated kitten calendars in my showerinovating ways to pleasure a woman! She is mine!He is how I picture it going down;
“Hey Meg, I’m 36, wanna bang?”
[Megan drops to her knees and inhales my shlong like it’s the cure for Swine Flu}
“Bitchin’!”
That’s funny, lately I’ve only been banging dudes over 30, too!
…wait, whaaaaa…..
Crappy, I like your avatar rotated 90 degrees, but then that applies to most women.
HEYYYOOOOOOOO I’m the Ed McMahon of FilmDrunk YOU ARE CORRECT SIR!!!@!@!!1!@
Happy Birthday, Stinky! You get that b-day beej this morning or do you have to go lookin’ for love in all the wrong places after dark?
Happy Day inkyPee!
Thanks, I think it makes much less sense that way. I wonder…
<– Qah Plah! Almost bad enough for Al to yell at me about NSFW avis.
Well Donk, I just wanted to say, good luck, we’re all counting on you.
I gotta get going for the weekend. My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We’re bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We’re coming in from the north, below their radar.
Did someone call me?
Happy Birthday Peet!
Thanks Crappy, my boss just asked me why my head was at a weird angle.
WTF is that pic??
Thanks Crappy, my boss just asked me why my head was at a weird angle.
Got a
prickcrick stuck in your neck? Want one?The Mighty Feklahr is the Vince McMahon of Filmdrunk!
Geez! It’s clearly a chick with peanut butter on her face trying to catch a flying hot dog.
Here;
http://pictureisunrelated.com/2009/04/26/there-are-easier-ways-to-eat/#comments
(deja vu)
*laughs menacingly*
And with that, adieu or au revoir or whichever one is “later” and not “fuck off forever.”
^ tres worldly, no?
No
I’m outta here too. It’s been fun fucking off with you all this week. I’m off to get Steve French some Cat Fancy with a little hash mixed in.
Pauly I can’t tell if your avatar is the kid from “A Christmas Story” or a soft, safe-for-tards action figure representing Downs face in a huge-headed way.
Listen Bubbles, all I want to do after my Friday “lunch” is go home and
continuestart drinking. And I wouldn’t mind yourprickhand on my shoulder.Wow, someone is seriously under-estimating the power of the trekkie. $65 mil?? $20 mil less than Wolverine?? I know it’s Friday but if you’re gonna phone it in, don’t even bother.
I just want you to understand that you picked it to do less than “The Day After Tomorrow” and “Planet of the Apes”. $117 mil and I’ll see you to collect my genius trophy on Monday.
Careful, Biggie. Vince’s Genius Trophy isn’t circumcised.
Someone said something? I don’t hear shadowy figures.
SPLLaL, my avatar is Conky
Also: I say $200M. That’s several generations of trekkies wanting to see this movie.
Go big or go home, shadow.
Remember Bubbles…
I run the show.
It “Set phasers TO…”
Get it right nerd.
durst
Yes?
Set phasers to “durst”…
I said that^ in my T-Pain voice.
Greenwood \green-wud\ , noun:
1. Bruce
2. A Virgin Boner
[slinks in, throws whitefish in vent, replaces grill, slinks off]
Yeah, tell your Mom “Happy Mother’s Day” but do remember that the cunt didn’t even know you were born until she tripped over your umbilical cord crossing 65th and Main to turn a trick.
…and that’s why you’re named ‘Tyrone’.
Mother’s Day is a pain in the ass.
What the hell am I supposed to buy for a jackal?
Mother’s Day is a pain in the ass.
No way. Your Mom’s way into anal.
Thank you, Pauly, but I was talking about MY ass.
She can be a little rough…
OK, I’ve now seen Trailer Park Boys… Awesome!
FYI, consider Star Trek *OFFICIALLY* Klingon approved now. That movie kicked so much ass it grabbed Him by the ears and gag-fucked the tah’Qeq out of Him! QAPLAH!