05.11.09 WOODY ALLEN MAKES A FILM EVERY TWO WEEKS

A movie about a fireball of Jewish neuroses big enough to consume the Earth would be called ‘Final Solution’.

Richard Lewis understands if you don’t want him in the film. He just wishes you would have handled it a little better, but it’s fine, he’ll just go do another movie with someone who appreciates him.

Woody Allen’s Ex-Wife should have been suspicious of him when he started calling Soon-Yi’s crotch his “Little Patza”.

If I were Woody Allen, there would be a scene in this movie with someone jerking off into an American Apparel sock.

chodin: “Evan Rachel Wood? Hmmmm…what do you think, my penis?”

Penis: “Hmmmm, tough one. I’m opting though to get shoved back inside that Hot Pocket we left under the red, Halloween wig, in your living room.”

chodin: “Haha, good choice trusty friend, good choice.

Woody: “OK, ummm, Larry – what do you think of, a, speaking a little faster during the end of that sentence?

Larry: “Faster like you can’t understand me, or faster like I’m from Brooklyn?”

Woody: “Which do you feel more comfortable with?”

Larry: “What about something in between?”

Woody: “Is everyone else ok with that?”

(goyim cast and crew nod, Jewish cast and crew shrug)

Woody: “OK – Are we rolling?”

Sir, there appears to be a giant fireball of Jewish neurosis out there on a collision course with Earth

How long do we have?

Nine days, sir!

Whew, you had me worried.

The Jewish Fireball is Evan Rachel Wood’s party trick.

Woody Allen? Evan Rachel Wood? Are we sure this isn’t just that Beaver puppet movie?

fireball of Jewish neurosis

This is often the phrase used to deny insurance claims after the arson investigation.

gilbert gottfried’s best role was a parrot… oh no not that one from Aladdin, he played one in a furry porno