VIN DIESEL TO PLAY OUROBOROS
05.08.09Director John Singleton, producer Lorenzo Di Bonaventura, and Vin Diesel have signed on for Wheelman, a live-action film adaptation of a videogame that came out last month with Diesel as its main character and the game’s producer. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?
Diesel will play an expert driver who comes out of retirement to protect a woman from his past. [Variety]
Let’s review: Vin Diesel made a videogame that was essentially based on his The Fast and The Furious character. Now, he’s making a movie out of that videogame, the videogame which was a videogame version of his movie in the first place. (a movie which had three sequels, a movie which was Point Break with cars). This is like making a photocopy of your ass, then painting a picture of the copy with your ass, and then shoving the painting up your ass. (Sorry, I only do ass-based analogies).



Dragons are so cute when they chase their tails.
Diesel will play an expert driver who comes out of retirement to protect a woman from his past.
His past is so dangerous, it can kill you in the present. OOH WA AH AH AH!
That painting wouldn’t exactly be going where no man has boldly gone before, gnome sayin?
Vin Diesel doesn’t know the meaning of the word “typecast.”
Seriously, he doesn’t.
In this economy, it’s pretty smart to make a movie where you just edit together the deleted scenes of other movies.
To extend the analogy, this idea looks like someone pulled it out of their ass.
This is like making a photocopy of your ass, then painting a picture of the copy with your ass, and then shoving the painting up your ass.
You are infringing on my patent-pending invention – paint-by-numbers toilet paper. The product includes rolls in three different themes: Puppies, Landscapes, and Dildos. Oil paint sold separately.
But I think this story may be erroneous. I heard “Wheelman” was the working title for the next “Transformers” movie.
OH OH OH! That looks just like the tattoo that dude from the show Millennium had! I’m not going.
I can do what that dragon is doing!
Oh wait, it’s his TAIL? Never mind.
I can do it too Juan, though I prefer not to be that close to Vin Diesel.
I have no idea what this post is about, and don’t care. More pics please.
I don’t even care if he’s gay. Just tell me he’s not 5’3″.
If this guy cared about the world so much, wouldn’t he be Vin Biodiesel?
Good news, IMDB says he’s six feet tall. So, he’s probably 5-8.
Ta da! He’s back!
If he was Frank Zappa’s son, he’d be named Vin Weaselsrippedmyflesh.
Six feet, 5’8″, it doesn’t matter when he’s laying down I guess.
Ouroboros? Did Ang Lee see the Northern Lights or something?
Nipple tattoo. Hee hee hee.
Random Producer: So I hear you like acting?
Vin Diesel: I respect a script regardless of the quality.
Dor sho gha! How could He forget??? WHen He was in Des Moines yesterday, He found out His best friend had a house with two very interesting features:
A. A laundry chute from bedroom to basement
B. A crawl space
Looks like The BTK Raders have their new home stadium!
congress recently added Vin Diesel movies to the list of banned torture. We need a new Vin Diesel movie like your mom needs another piece of cake (hint: she’s a fatty).
n’up
anal-ogies? thats only one letter away from total awesomeness