
I didn’t fully believe the story that they were rebooting the Tomb Raider franchise the first time I read it, but it’s refusing to go away. STOP INVADING MY CONSCIOUSNESS, TOMB RAIDER REBOOT! DON’T MAKE ME DRINK YOU AWAY LIKE MY FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY!
Producer Dan Lin stopped to chat with About.com about some of his upcoming projects, particularly the planned reboot of the “Lara Croft” series (popularly known as an adaptation of the “Tomb Raider” series of video games ['popularly known' because that's what they called the effing movies. -Ed.]). Lin describes the project as a “character-oriented… more realistic” origin story for the popular treasure seeker. He clarifies shortly after that, comparing what he intends to be “character-driven action” in the “Croft” reboot to what audiences saw in last weekend’s “Terminator Salvation.”
As fans of the video game series are already no doubt aware, Lara Croft has quite a well-developed backstory which has been introduced in the more recent games. I’m not going to be the guy who spoils it all [heaven forbid], but the last two releases in the series go into considerable details on Lara’s relationship with her parents and the circumstances which led her to owning Croft Manor. [MTV]
Well I certainly hope we can expect more of the same. Because every time I see a stripper with huge tits dressed like Indiana Jones, my first question is, “No, really, Jade, tell me more about your relationship with your father.”



Did you stumble across my spelunking photos, Vance?
Hehe…
…sluts named “Jade”.
I’ll stick to jerking it to Womb Raider, thank you very much.
Hey there Al . . . *waves a crisp two dollar bill*
(points to crotch)
I was reading along and got to, “Lara Croft has quite a well-developed…” The word back story was not what I expected to follow
My great-great-grandfather was kicked out of Ireland for habitually masturbating in textile factories. He was a real loom raider.
She’s got a pretty well-developed front story too, cowofdo. Gnome sayin’?
I always looked at Angelina Jolie in tight clothing holding guns and thought to myself “Fuck, I’d be enjoying this more if it were more realistic”. Of course, my dick disagrees, but I think I can take him.
I’d like to have breakfast in her Waffle House, gnome sayin’.
Heh, oh yeah. Whoops. Oh well, too late to cover my tracks now.
Yeah, me neither.
I always thought that the parts that led up to her owning Croft Manner had something to do with waiting for an 80-year old man to die while hoping his alzheimer’s keeps him blissfully unaware that you’ve been on your period for eighteen straight weeks.
On windy days, Gary Busey can be seen walking along the water front, scooping up all the sea-foam he can gather. He’s a regular Spume Raider, that guy.
I call the pimp down the way Womb Trader.
So her back story is the same as Batman’s? Rich parents get killed…. *yawn* Come back later when your pitching a film about stacked women giving it away to get back at their folks instead of avenging them or whatever.
This movie should explore Lara’s relationship with her Dad’s safety razor.
Damn Vinky! Paging doctor Freud! Paging Doctor Freud! HAHA Right guys! [raises arm for high fives, is left hanging]
I’m hoping that slut’s guns shoot out little flags that say, “ANAL!”
Somewhere, some geek is pissing the bed because the guns in that photo aren’t accurate.
I’m trying to get her to star in a FD Adaptation movie: ‘BTK Rader’. She won’t have a speaking part… unless you count trying to knaw through nylon cord as speaking.
Whenever I’m cramming jizz dampened singles into some stripper’s unmentionables I always wonder about her daddy issues, and if they are profound enough for her to want to blow a middle aged guy like me for a line of blow.
To go back a thread, RoPan, The Mighty Feklahr did leave out the part where He burns down His junior high, then again, that fucker is burning come world ending cataclysm, or not!
No keyHo, but I do call it foreplay.
knaw? really? I don’t even know what the fuck I was doing just gnow.
Vince, a (points to crotch) tag would have worked well her. Just sayin’.
Lara Kraft got her manor when her parents were eaten by a Cheesasaurus Rex when they slipped into the Land of the Crust.
Hey, whoa! Gonna have to take Lara there to a Jonas Brothers/TGI Fridays combo! BOING!!!
Lara Croft post and suddenly none of you can spell anymore? Stoopid boys.
Part of Mike Bay’s campaign with Mcg was to fuck up the Terminator pyrotechnics. He is the *BOOM* Raider.
The Ents tear down Isengard in “Hoom-hoom-haroom Raiders”!
Smoe of u s ar e typn gwiht one hnd, al. Som wit o ur nosses.
Way, way, WAAAAY late shout to Stone: if her shorts were any shorter, they’d be “fangsters”.
Gary Busey plays chicken with the log rides at Splash Mountain. He’s a real Flume Evader.