05.14.09 STAR TREK FLAT: SET PANTIES TO DROPPING
Pictured: The pimpinest pimp daddy who ever pimped.
Meet Tony Alleyne. He oozes confidence and charm, as any guy who’d turned his apartment into a replica of a Star Trek ship would.
After his wife left him, Tony Alleyne set out to create the ultimate bachelor pad, painstakingly turning his flat into a Star Trek set. He started the project in 1999 and completed it in 2004, but then decided to give the flat a Star Trek: Voyager make-over
“I have always considered that of all the Starfleet ships, Voyager is, in terms of interior, the luxury liner of the galaxy,” he says. [He later called Depends 'the Cadillac of adult diapers.' -Ed.]
The 500-square-foot apartment features voice-activated lighting, LED lighting, running lights, air-conditioning – but no bed. A few years ago Mr Alleyne suffered from sciatica and was advised by his GP to sleep on the floor. “It cured the sciatica and gave me the opportunity to convert the bed area into the Transporter area,” he says. “Bed space is overrated”
His wife – who owns the flat – put it up for sale, but it fell through. “To be honest, I’m quite happy the sale didn’t go through as I do enjoy living here and carrying out upgrades periodically,” Mr Alleyne says. [via Telegraph - couple more pictures there]
Of course she tried to sell it – this guy’s probably shoulder deep in fresh poon now, and she can’t stand it. I think this is my favorite feature. It just wouldn’t be a future house without a wall covered in blinky lights labeled “SCIENCE.” I did the same thing in my bedroom with a chalkboard covered with equations. “This is where I do my research,” I tell the ladies.
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There are 40 comments about:
STAR TREK FLAT: SET PANTIES TO DROPPING
I can’t even begin to imagine why his wife left him.
“…set out to create the ultimate bachelor pad…”
The minds of men, eh? Exactly what I always suspected.
Back the truck up… both “500-sq ft” and “bed space is overrrated” could have helped the wife’s decision.
Do those guys need me to hold their hand and walk them in here?
He even shaved his head to look like Patrick Stewart. How dedicated!
My mom just turned 60 so my ultimate bachelor pad is about 15-20 years off still.
Pauly’s ultimate bachelor pad only has six beds.
I bet he sleeps in that uniform.
Chodin’s ultimate bachelor pad is filled with cucumbers and lube.
My ultimate bachelor pad is filled with bachelors.
My shower is my transporter area. I frequently use it to send unwanted kids to the water treatment plant.
In space…no one can hear you masturbate then cry yourself to sleep at night.
My ultimate bachelor pad has a mural of Lisa Rinna being fisted by a centaur.
If I had a 500-sq ft apartment, I’d turn it into a grow op and move somewhere big enough to live in.
My ultimate bachelor pad wouldn’t be designed to keep me from getting laid
Um, I mean “size doesn’t matter”, guys.
Bones: Don’t you lecture me kid. Trekkies are Dispare and Loneliness wrapped in Dorkiness and Shyness.
The funny thing his, His bedroom resembles the deck of the USS Reliant quite a bit…
I did the same thing in my bedroom with a chalkboard covered with equations. “This is where I do my research,” I tell the ladies.
It’s not your fault, Lince. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault…
I gotta admit, it would be kinda cool to do it on the control panel.
The fan switch in his bathroom signals “red alert”! BBBRRRAAAAPPPP!!!
You smelt it, you Delta-Quadroned it! Get it?
Oh, hey, there’s the corner…full piss boot!
He frequently tells ladies to beam directly to the Captain’s Quarters. They frequently reply “Listen, this webcam striptease is 3.99 a minute so do you want it or not?”.
His most recent upgrades include a Seven-Of-Nine replica made out of a Broom, Yellow Dye, Some Pillows, and KY. With the lights turned off I… I mean he can hardly tell the difference.
Also overrated to this guy: First Contact.
My ultimate bachelor pad is an orphanage.
My ultimate bachelor pad has flooring. (Sets up hammock between girders)
Hey guys, first post. Is it too late for a Fast and the Furriest joke?
He has that come hither stare that his mother doesn’t appreciate.
This just in – the douchebag with the done-up Barcolounger on the plywood box just killed himself. Neighbors were quoted as saying “It’s about time.”
Something tells me it’s been a very long time since he last got to the delta quadrant with a lady.
I like it when he gets up to pee in the middle of the night, stands over the toilet and says “Number One, engage”.
Not even Scotty could get this guy’s impulse thrusters under control.
Oy, Captain.
“Which one of these buttons calls your parents to come pick you up?”
The only way I’d go into that dude’s flat is if he beamed me up. Jim Beamed me up.
new up
Stone, do not point at crotch when Captain Reality Lapse here is around.
Fek, that’s hillarious.
Also, I know people who bought that 1400 dollar Capt’s Chair thing. I’m equal parts horrified and impressed by the dedication.
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