So Shia LaBeouf directed this music video, for a guy named “Cage”, who’s apparently a more hipstery, less talented version of Eminem.
The actor has been a long-time supporter of Cage, and back in 2007 he told Vanity Fair that he was going to be directing a feature film based on the rapper’s life. According to Cage’s bio, he was “Born to a heroin-addicted father and a distant mother, he battled drug addiction and was institutionalized for 18 months, where he became a test subject for Prozac and tried several times to end his life before discovering hip-hop as a vehicle to express his inner-torment.” [via Cinematical]
Oh hey, sorry I didn’t see you there. Don’t mind me, I was just making fart sounds with my mouth. Anyway, the cool thing about directing music videos is that you can film literally anything. Cats masturbating? Midget drinking milk? Sure, why not. Intercut that with some concert footage and you’re good to go. Wow, you can direct music videos? Amazing! Next you’ll tell me you can DJ!
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I’m wanking it as hard as I can.
That video was tight.
Like the Doctress.
Somebody tried to shoot Cage, but only nicked him. And by nicked him I mean it paralyzed his face and receeded his hairline 6 inches.
Hipster Rappers are so above freestylin’.
You mean cuntress fool! [Gives Płüÿå why-the-fuck-were-you-over-there-you-cheeting-whore-stink-eye]
So we got a guy whose name sounds like french for “The Beef”, another called Cage, and a third who looks like the Edge.
Is Shia planning to direct some sort of wrestling themed porno? (I’ve got porn on my brain right now, along with my tabs)
You were over there too!
institutionalized for 18 months, where he became a test subject for Prozac
Eli Lilly discovered fluoxetine (prozac) in the 1970s. So you’re telling me that guy in the video was already a teenager/adult over 30 years ago? Whatever, James Frey. I’m sure you had plenty of black friends in the institution who thought you were “down”, too.
I’m pissed that I’m not hungover right now.
Cage should be careful. Along rap circles the Chicken Wing is seen as the ultimate insult, punished with an immediate beheading and a frying of the body into a delicious 12 piece meal.
True Story: I met James Frey. We talked about UFC.
Having sex on LSD is awesome. You’re like looking at your dick and thinking, “Whoa! What am i doing man?!” And the nut tracers are bitchin’.
I’m hung over enough for the both of us Płÿåü. (that gag, hehe, takes way too long now) Seriously damaged a handle of the 7 last night greeting the new neighbors.
True Story: I met James Frey. We talked about UFC.
Did he mention he ws in the UFC and fighting that night?
Crap, you’re like the Dad my Mom said left to go get cigarettes and never came back in 1986.
Machida for the win!
*resumes air humping to the beat of Born in the USA*
Cage was lucky to find a friend willing to direct. Shia gave him a 9-finger discount.
True Story: I met James Frey. We talked about UFC.
True Story: I met Louie Anderson. He was eating an entire bag of doritos on a bench. I probably should have thrown some change.
I secing that, JHC.
It’s not going to a decision either.
[Tries to remember 1986]
Not gonna happen.
Hey Vinky! Did you ask him what Oprah smelled like? I figure kitten tears and hapiness.
[I know J will get that]
I agree, Pauly. Also, I think Hughes will knock Serra’s ass out.
True story: I met the guy that played Uncle Owen in the first Star Wars movie. He was fucking OLD, but he did let me autograph his colostomy bag!
I can’t wait to get home to my fifth of Knobb Creek and my bag of homegrown.
I also met Louie Anderson once. I worked at Starbucks and served him not one but 2 chocolate donuts. I’m sensing a theme here…
True Story: I have never met a famous actor, but chances are, if they’re not Paul Rudd….I’m punching their face in.
Fittingly enough, my plans for Cage heavily involve a cage.
Hey guys, what should ol’ Fekkywise drink tonight? He is feeling undecided.
Ooo…we can make it a contest! The winning submission will get a copy of His drunken LOTRO combat log emailed to them! DOR SHO GHA!
CONTEST: What should Fek drink tonight?
True Story: Mew Up!
Fek, bourbon….like me.
What’s my name??
True Story: I had then President Clinton walk past my rack when he visited the aircraft carrier I was stationed on. He didn’t see me though. I had the curtains closed cuz it was my me time.
C-dog, I’m not seeing it. I’m sure once you point it out, I’ll face-palm myself though.
In the words of my good friend: “Eminem is great, but he is Cage-Light”.
1) this is old newz
2) its better than 93% of all other rap videos
finally) cage has been around longer than Eminem and even accused him of stealing his style leading to them “beefing” lol