05.06.09 SHERLOCK HOLMES KNOWS QUEER-ATE
USA Today dropped some new pictures from Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes (starring RDJ as Holmes and Jude Law as Watson). Here’s a snip:
Sherlock uses his bartitsu skills against two thugs who are blocking his way through the catacombs of London’s St. Paul’s Cathedral (actually St. Bartholomew’s, the oldest church in the city). “It’s a kind of Japanese street fighting,” explains Ritchie, who holds a black belt in karate. “It uses walking sticks, bowler hats, choke holds to put people to sleep – any practical means possible.” The form of martial arts was invented in England in the late 1800s and was mentioned by Conan Doyle in one of his stories.
Time out, “bartitsu”? Bowler hats? This sh*t is real? Only the English could conceive of something so silly. “Well, guv, it was a roight donnybrook, it was. First ‘e comes at me, ‘e did, den oy shoined ‘is boots. Oy shoined ‘is boots real good, oy did, an’ dey was so shoiny dat when a propa lorrie come by, ‘e get bloinded and da lorrie done knocked ‘is block off, it did. Knocked ‘is block off propa.”
[more pics and stuff at USA Today]
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There are 35 comments about:
SHERLOCK HOLMES KNOWS QUEER-ATE
Hehehehehehehe, tit.
Oh yeah didn’t you know. All us English guys know bartitsu, it’s like the first thing they teach you.
Since when is using a bowler hat to put someone to sleep “practical”? I prefer choroform myself.
One of the waitresses at the local Hooters is called ‘Bar-Tit Sue’
… or a lullabye.
Rock, why are you always in my way? Stupid newfies…
Are bartitsu skills what they teach to the guys that pierce nipples?
Are bartitsus anything like the guy that makes my lattee at Starbucks?
Extra “u”s, extra “e”s, May 6 is “spell it however you want” day in Canadia.
Actually, I can see how it would be more practical to foil their nemeses with a walking stick and bowler hat than those handguns they’re carrying.
Correct me if I am wrong, but how is something invented in England in the 1800’s be a form of Japanese street fighting?
I’m telling Paul Mooney.
Vince, you forgot to mention “birds”, “knobbed”, and “sazz wagon”.
So basically bartitsu is fighting with canes? You can bet your ass that Steven Segal will start using it in his movies in the next year or so.
RDJ is gonna need a sponsor watching him like a hawk during the “snuff” scenes. And yeah, both meanings of that word.
Bartitsu involves a broken bottle and screaming, “Bugger off, you poof!”
So can we now start charging people with bowler hats and walking sticks with a crime other than being an unbearable hipster douche?
try telling oddjob he’s an unbearable hipster douche.
It uses walking sticks, bowler hats, choke holds to put people to sleep – any practical means possible.
It was either call it ‘bartitsu’ or ‘Ruhypnol-chi’.
A similar fighting style is used in a personal favorite of mine, “A Cockwork Orange”.
Execpt it uses Jimmy Hats and Staffs.
“bartitsu” sounds like a text message from Joe Francis.
How ’bout them quick whistles, eh?
Not today, Al.
Everyone be nice to Donk today. He’s sick and the refs suck.
Al, I take insult to that, I ain’t no fuckin’ Newf. I’m a Nova Scotian in Ontario. Fuckin self-important west coaster
Cast RDJ as the Villan Chris Rock and make Sean Penn Sherlock and count me in.
It’s probably the most polite fighting style with moves that have names like the “I say old chap, I’m about to strike you” or “How about a spot of reverse choke hold.”
that’s an oscar joke, so if you get it, you’re a fag.
Coming from someone currently close to the centre of the universe, that doesn’t sting too much.
(Sorry, all I remembered was somewhere in Atlantic Can)
fair enough, apology accepted
Jude Law practices Baldtitsu. It’s training mostly involves furious rubbing of Rogaine.
In Soviet England, the Bar Tits YOU!
A cane. Fucking Pussies! FDR knew wheelchairtitsu.
Bartitsu uses walking sticks, bowler hats and choke holds. Queerate uses the singer from Styx, bowel hats and choking on poles.
A titsu is what you call a girl once you put a leash on her.
the last time I saw a mustache like that, your mom was paying me for cleaning her carpet
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