05.11.09 QUATO LIVES!!!
Don’t be fooled by the cute baby I used in the banner pic, this story is horrifying. A 30-year-old plumber in England recently had the EMBRYO OF HIS PARASITIC TWIN EXPLODE FROM HIS STOMACH.
Gavin Hyatt, 30, explained that the lump forced its way out after lying inside his abdomen since he was born. Medics said the 4cm growth was a parasitic twin that died in the womb early in their mother’s pregnancy.
An operation at Oxford’s John Radcliffe Hospital was canceled at the last minute and he went home. But later he felt a stabbing pain near his belly button. Lifting his shirt, he saw he was bleeding as the lump pushed through the skin. At that point he drove himself to his local surgery.
Mr Hyatt, a former firefighter, from Witney, Oxfordshire, said: “Four hospital doctors had previously examined me and were all puzzled by the lump. “Some thought it was a cyst, others an in-grown hair. Then one said it could be my undeveloped identical twin that I absorbed at a very early stage. I feel absolutely fine now but it has not sunk in yet that I could have had a twin brother. I have him in a jar at home and I call him little Gav. I haven’t told many people. I feel like a bit of a freak.” [Telegraph]
And it was there for 30 years. Damn. This reminds me of the half-eaten sandwich I found under your mom’s tit once, but even that couldn’t have been there longer than six months. (*adjusts monocle*)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/07/alien-baby-ripley-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/05/ripley-alien-sigourney-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/04/ridleyscott-alienbaby-150x150.jpg)
There are 23 comments about:
QUATO LIVES!!!
If he’s going to name it, I suggest “Lint”.
I had a 4-cm growth pop out of my belly-button once too.
Pauly and I were trying a new position.
So technically, every time this guy’s had sex it’s been a threesome. What a stud.
If you did have a Kuato coming out of you, you could totally do internet webcams the right way. Two hands to type and use the mouse, and the little Kuato dude to jack you off.
Sidenote: I think Britney absorbed her twin too. But instead of bursting out of her stomach, Federline was able to re-fertilize it and it became that first mutant fuck-trophy she shit out.
This occurred just after John Cleese talked him into eating a wafer-thin mint
If his dead absorbed twin was a baseball player, his nickname would be Big Poppy.
Awwwwww, HAHA I love you Patches!
*pushes belly button back in
I’d love to be there the next time some chick tells him he’ll never experience the pain of child birth.
I also think that my spelling of Quato is better, which is why I did it. Not because I’m a shovel-headed, retarded mongoloid.
Let this be a lesson to all women out there who think it’s harmless to let him pull out and shoot it all over your stomach.
Something similar happened to my ex-wife and it ended up costing me $800 a month for 18 years.
This must be how that dumb broad from 18 Kids and Counting reproduces. Kind of like a Mogwai/Gremlin. There’s no way she reproduces the normal way. After 10, she’d be kicking her uterus around like a soccer ball when she walked around.
In a related story, “Little Gav” is also the name of the thing Gwen Stefani had removed and now keeps in a jar.
It’s upsetting when you’re navel gazing and your button blinks and you fall in love.
I keep my belly button lint in a jar, and on my person at all times.
You never know when you’ll be stranded on the side of the road, in sub zero temperatures, and need
kindlingsomeone to talk to.So what! Matthew Broderick has been housing Nathan Lane inside himself for the past 10 years.
Quato was a parasitic twin? I thought he was just OJ’s freeloading house guest.
The Mighty Feklahr was sure that “Little Gav” was that freaky little alien dude that was hanging out with Scotty…
What does Randy Garcia have to say about this?
Too bad, he could have gotten a 2-for-1 belly button / eyebrow piercing for he and his brother.
Little Gav and the Garcia Twin will be starring in a buddy cop movie directed by Brett Ratner. Para-City Blues opens on Twins day 2010.
The way into a man’s jar is through his stomach.
This story seriously makes me consider going to the doctor to check out the small bump on my head I noticed when I was 16 that grows and shrinks regularly.
Then again, his doctors didn’t find anything so I might as well not even bother.
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