When I see “presented by Oprah and Tyler Perry” at the beginning of a trailer, like this one for Precious, I expect the movie to cure AIDs in Africa and teach an orphan the meaning of love. And if you read the reviews, that’s basically what it does. FilmSchoolReject‘s take is fairly representative: “The film is a wonder — a truly moving film that is as engaging and shockingly tragic, but so full of life as any film you will see this year.”
Based on the novel Push by Sapphire (yep, just Sapphire), Precious follows 16-year-old junior-high schooler Clareece Jones through her horribly depressing life, which includes getting beaten by her mother and being pregnant for the second time by her father. Far be it from me to ridicule such life-affirming fare, but I think that necklace was a mistake. It makes her appear heavy.
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Do black people only make films about other black people there? Because if I were a film maker, I would not restrict myself to a strictly Norwegian or Italian-Canadian cast.
Americans are weird.
You’re supposed to write what you know. If I wrote a movie about growing up in inner-city Detroit, it would probably suck.
That’s why Ben Lyons should only be allowed to review movies by Brett Ratner or Seltzer-Friedberg.
Stephanie Meyers doesn’t know anything about vampires and she wrote oh nevermind.
I’ll give him this, Tyler Perry’s fat suits are getting more realistic.
Don’t worry Aziz. I assure you this film will HAVE to be shown on the big screen.
They should have stuck that earring through her nostrils and called the film “8 Seconds”.
Reached for comment, Sir Mix-a-Lot said “That isn’t what I was talking about”.
Gumo 2: The Big Shitty
Jeebus, from that feel-good-kick-in-the-balls-film synop I’m gonna run right out and catch this gem next time I’m skip-down-the-street-whistling-skip-to-my-lou-happy and want to be head-in-the-oven-with-a-bag-over-my-head-happy.
I wouldn’t even let Oprah and Tyler Perry present my food order.
Reached for comment, Gollum said “That isn’t what I was talking about.”
Trickle, He will give you this, there is no point in Him making His Smeagol/Preciousss joke now. Dor sho gha!
Well, she cant say “daddy never gives me anything”.
I guess the Frosty King forgetting to put in some ketchup packets with my burger wasn’t so bad after all.
Thank you Oprah!
Are you there, God? It’s me LaFonda.
Didn’t they already make a Notorious BIG movie?
Thats the hardest working cardigan in show business.
“Push” presented by Gary Larsen about one brave kid’s struggle to get in the doors at the school for the gifted.
As someone who has been raped by their father, this film gives me hope; gives me solace. Just when I think things couldn’t be any worse for me, ‘Precious’ pries open my mouth and screams down my throat, “AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT A FUCKING GIRL!!!”.
Thank you Jesus.
So, this is the Big Momma’s House prequel?
The tragic backstory of The Grimace is finally revealed.
In the father’s defense, he just mistook her for that black bean bag chair with the sock glued to it that he keeps around.
Oprah and Tyler Perry Present: You Best Feel Guilty, White People – Part VII
Where are the dance battles? I assumed there would be dance battles.
From the looks of her, she should have called it “Heave”.
Years later the girls wish to be on magazine covers came true (http://www.oprah.com/magazine/omagazine).
This seems like ghetto Hairspray.
Precious’s family is so poor the only thing they can afford to eat is Willy Wonka’s failed experiments.
I liked this movie better when it was called “Lock your doors and don’t stop for any red lights.”
Expect Slash to show up with some lotion on opening night.
I would enjoy masturbating to this alot more if someone could verify that it’s based on a true story.
If she wants a light skinned boyfriend, she could date an albino. Outcasts stick together.
“Parents just don’t understand”
-Willard Christopher Smiff Jr.
I’d go see this, but I just know that the majority of the audience is going to be breathing loudly at the screen the whole time.
She looks like she’s seriously thinking about eating that Sundance Film Festival stamp.
I don’t know what’s so goddamn life-affirming about the story of a bowling ball that sprouts legs, but whatever.
To pimp this movie Oprah gave the audience power chairs;
“You get a Hover Round! And you get a Hover Round! And YOU get a Hover Round!…”
Mr. Burns should have considered Precious a cheaper alternative to the Giant Disk.
Everytime I see Oprah with Tyler Perry I don’t blink cause at any moment they’ll melt into each other to form Della Reese.
Nizzup!
SPOILER ALERT-
At the end of the movie, Oprah surprises her with a “I went to Daddy’s bedroom and all I got was these 2 incest chiltrens” tee shirt.
so i don’t get it…when do the mind powers come into play? I didn’t see any mental bullets…(pew! pew!)and I knew there was a dramatic Keenan Thompson vehicle out there, even if he is taking fat suit advice from Martin Lawrence and Tyler Perry, I liked good burger but it would have done better as a comedy…
This film will be released exclusive on all IMAX screens, preceded by a short film starring Zhang Ziyi’s head for the full IMAX experience.
Mariah Carey as the welfare worker? Lenny Kravitz as a doctor? If this is science fiction where the hell are the robots? Wait, maybe that was a baby robot…oh it all make sense now.
hollywood strikes again with another board game to film adaptation. this time ’round: hungry hungry hippos.